The Heart of Christmas Traditions

Ruth Hovsepian and LaCinda Halls share their cherished family traditions surrounding Christmas, reflecting on the importance of small moments and memories over grand gestures. They discuss the humorous and heartfelt aspects of gift-giving, including lessons learned from past experiences. The conversation emphasizes the true meaning of Christmas, focusing on family values, faith, and the joy of giving. In this heartfelt conversation, LaCinda Halls and Ruth Hovsepian explore the true meaning of Christmas, emphasizing the importance of playfulness, family traditions, and the gift of time. They reflect on the challenges of parenting during the holidays, the significance of gratitude in difficult seasons, and the joy of teaching children about generosity. The discussion highlights the need to manage expectations and cherish memories, ultimately focusing on the essence of Christmas as a celebration of Jesus and family togetherness.

Takeaways

• Technology can be a challenge, but laughter helps.
• Family traditions often differ between generations.
• Small, seemingly insignificant moments can hold great meaning.
• Gift-giving can lead to unexpected lessons and memories.
• Creating a Christmas atmosphere is about personal touches.
• Children often cherish the simplest traditions.
• The true spirit of Christmas is about love and giving.
• Experiences can be more valuable than material gifts.
• It's important to set realistic expectations during the holidays.
• Faith and family are central to the Christmas celebration. Christmas is about understanding the true gift of Jesus.
• Playfulness in children can teach us deeper lessons.
• Family traditions can evolve to reduce stress.
• Gratitude for difficult seasons shapes our character.
• Generosity is a natural trait in children.
• Time spent together is the best gift we can give.
• Expectations can hinder the joy of the season.
• Flexibility in family gatherings fosters love and connection.
• Memories are cherished more than material gifts.
• The essence of Christmas is love and togetherness.

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Transcript

Ruth Hovsepian (00:00.887)
LaCinda, third time's a charm. Welcome back!

LaCinda Halls (00:02.147)
Yes, third time's a charm!

LaCinda Halls (00:08.007)
I think it's because I don't get to see you enough and so the the computer's just saying no one more time one more time

Ruth Hovsepian (00:15.615)
It is, is, it is getting, giddiness on our part. And no one's, no one knows unless we tell them why we're laughing like two little school girls, because I think this is the third or fourth time that we're trying to get this to work. I've, we're into like the hundredth episode, you know, of my, of my podcast.

LaCinda Halls (00:42.514)
It's like, come on, technology makes our lives better.

Ruth Hovsepian (00:47.769)
It's because you're so far, you're all the way in California.

LaCinda Halls (00:51.234)
I know, that's what it is. The internet's tired. It's somewhere over Arkansas, it's like, I just wanna stay here. Do I have to keep going? They're dropping me in Arkansas.

Ruth Hovsepian (01:00.289)
Just drop it.

goodness. Honestly, you know, all I can say it's a good thing that this series that I'm doing, it's really a lighthearted one about Christmas and what it means to our families because I don't know. I don't know if I could follow up on the last, half hour of trying to connect with being, you know, somber and serious, but anyway.

LaCinda Halls (01:18.848)
Yeah.

LaCinda Halls (01:24.643)
you

Ruth Hovsepian (01:34.137)
I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. This is setting us up great for the next half hour or so, but all right, in all seriousness, if we can, LaCinda tell me one tradition that you and your family really cherish every year and that no matter what, you want it to happen and take place.

LaCinda Halls (01:59.399)
So this is it's actually a funny it's a funny question just because what I would tell you and what my daughter would tell you are different. I asked because I asked that question about two years ago after taking, you know, the five to six maybe more boxes out of the attic that are Christmas. And I thought.

Ruth Hovsepian (02:24.259)
Mm-hmm.

LaCinda Halls (02:25.152)
What is, what is in all of, how is all of this helping us look towards Jesus? And so I asked her, I was like, all right, honey, what, and my daughter is now 21. So this is like, she's maybe like 19, just finished, just going to college, comes home for college. When you come into the house, what, when do you know it's Christmas? What's the thing that we do, that we decorate, what have you?

Ruth Hovsepian (02:38.595)
Mm.

LaCinda Halls (02:53.011)
because it looks like Tinsel threw up in our house in December. it is all the lights. all, is like for my son on the spectrum, it is probably a little traumatic. But she said, you know what? It's because I love it when you put all of the Christmas mugs in the cabinet.

Ruth Hovsepian (03:06.041)
Mm.

LaCinda Halls (03:15.39)
you serious? So we have just like a little Rubbermaid tin of our bin of like these random Christmas mugs that like you get as a gift as a teacher or you you pick them up at a thrift store. Nothing matches. Okay all the other fancy stuff that we put up. Christmas Tresher. The Nativity scene. We'll talk about that in a minute. The Nativity scene yes. But it's Christmas for my daughter.

Ruth Hovsepian (03:15.577)
interest time.

Ruth Hovsepian (03:29.368)
Yeah.

LaCinda Halls (03:45.744)
when all the janky Christmas mugs come out.

Ruth Hovsepian (03:50.327)
tell you, you know, it, it, first of all, think kid, God gave us children to keep us humble because they like to contradict what we believe and what we say. First of all, that's one thing. Secondly, secondly, you, you, meaning us as parents, know, break out into a sweat, stress over

And not just Christmas, but any holiday, whether it's a birthday holiday, you know, or anything, anything. And they pick, as you said, the oddest things like my kids too, you know, like I used to go really all out only because I like decorating. love decorating my home and not just for Christmas. I just like decorating in general.

LaCinda Halls (04:25.103)
Okay.

LaCinda Halls (04:30.269)
you

Ruth Hovsepian (04:49.315)
So for me, holidays really meant just zhuzhing up the house, right? So I would, you know, clear table tops and, you know, put a nativity scene here and this there, the whole shebang. Do you know what my kids really like? It's that crazy time about who puts their decoration at the very top and the front.

LaCinda Halls (05:02.416)
Yay,

Ruth Hovsepian (05:19.001)
of the tree. My kids, okay, so my youngest, I hate to admit this, my youngest is 27 and a half, and a half. My oldest will be 33, will be 33 for Christmas. Do you know that between the three of them, my son is in between that, he's 30 and something. And

The three of them and I watched them. On the sly will take their decoration with their name on it and pull it from here and put it in front of the other one and that.

LaCinda Halls (05:56.729)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (06:04.441)
You know, I think about it sometimes when we have grandchildren in the house. What am I going to do?

Ruth Hovsepian (06:15.019)
I don't think my, I wonder sometimes if my kids will ever mature in my home because they're not like that outside of the house, right? They behave their age. Anyway.

LaCinda Halls (06:25.185)
No, no. Your house, it's their safe space, right? It's they regress almost. It's so true. did you guys, you talked about Christmas ornaments. Do you have a curated tree or do you have the family ornament tree or do you do two?

Ruth Hovsepian (06:31.659)
It is. Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (06:47.369)
No, no, no. First of all, we don't live in a big, you know, my kids grew up in about 1100 square feet, the four of us. So we don't have, we never, we, so we have half a tree, know, slim half tree. We, never had, I, I've never had space for a full tree because

LaCinda Halls (07:02.082)
Tell me, okay.

Ruth Hovsepian (07:11.179)
You know, they're very deep if, know, there's something about 53 inches in diameter. If I do that. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, we have high ceilings. So I'm about the, tree's about seven feet, seven and a half feet. That would make the diameter of the tree 53 inches coming out into a room that is probably double the size of the tree. So, you know.

LaCinda Halls (07:18.21)
Run away?

Ruth Hovsepian (07:40.865)
So, so let me, let me just say we have half a tree pushed up against the wall and honest to goodness, no one has ever walked into the house and said, happened to the rest of your tree? Nobody knows that it's half a tree. So that has really dictated what the decor is. I don't think I have bought a decoration in maybe 30 years. What, whatever has gone up.

LaCinda Halls (08:08.201)
It's fine.

Ruth Hovsepian (08:10.753)
really has been the kids, me decorating, maybe somebody gifting us one. don't, no, no, no, I've lied. The new decorations, and I mean new in a very light way, when we travel, when we travel, we pick up baubles. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a Christmas tree decoration. It's just something we can hang on the tree.

LaCinda Halls (08:26.635)
Yes.

LaCinda Halls (08:35.445)
Thanks

LaCinda Halls (08:40.733)
Same, same.

Ruth Hovsepian (08:42.627)
So that's what we do. Yeah.

LaCinda Halls (08:45.554)
Yeah, so and what we found like because you buy the ornament and number one it's it might break and then what do you do? no, we can't go back to Yellowstone and get the same ornament. We end up buying. So here you go. Here's another mom hack that you probably already know is we buy key rings. Because those those bad, right, because those bad boys don't break, right? And you can hook them on the tree and it's

Ruth Hovsepian (08:57.365)
Yeah, yeah, Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (09:06.231)
Yes! Yes! High five to that one, yes.

LaCinda Halls (09:15.784)
So that's our ornaments, our travel ornaments or the ornaments that they made when they were like in elementary school. That's our tree.

Ruth Hovsepian (09:16.919)
Ex- Yeah-

Ruth Hovsepian (09:23.725)
Yep. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's my tree too. And to end the decoration portion of our tree, because, you know, it's interesting. They all live in their own homes. They all have their own trees. And now I'm seeing them doing the same thing kind of, even if it's a curated tree, they are picking up baubles from here and there as well. But on our tree, the very last thing to go on the tree, it's not,

as most families, you know, putting a star or something on the top, it's tying ribbons. Do you know those ribbons are probably about, I don't know, 35, 36 years old? Just tiny little ribbons that I had put because I couldn't afford it back in the day. And I had just cut up these tiny little ribbons. And that's what we...

LaCinda Halls (10:08.679)
Really?

Ruth Hovsepian (10:22.275)
Well, that's what we ended with. And so it's interesting, know, what makes for family traditions. It's not what we all think. It's not the big things. It is the small things. How about, let's see, what else? What about gift wise? What has been the most interesting, you know, thing that has been?

LaCinda Halls (10:24.593)
Bye!

LaCinda Halls (10:34.418)
now.

Ruth Hovsepian (10:49.347)
gifted in your family that you you to this day you guys talk about

LaCinda Halls (10:54.194)
my goodness. So we went to I we. So we finally went to a smaller gift giving band like someone when the kids were in elementary school told us like it's it's a three gift thing. It's it's like a book, a piece of clothing and a toy. Right. And I don't know.

Ruth Hovsepian (11:11.417)
Mmm.

Ruth Hovsepian (11:16.525)
Yep.

LaCinda Halls (11:21.467)
but I wish someone had, that's what needs to get written in baby cards. When you go to a baby shower, write that fricking advice, okay? So with that being said, so we finally did to that. The thing that we still talk about is not necessarily the gift, although we still have it, it was the process. My son Thomas, who is on the autism spectrum, loves trains, still loves trains. And so we bought,

Ruth Hovsepian (11:26.041)
I love it. Yes. Yes.

Ruth Hovsepian (11:41.763)
Mmm.

LaCinda Halls (11:50.053)
like a Thomas the Train table, okay, that you have to build to put, And so, yeah, right? So, and we didn't, we wanted it to be a Christmas morning surprise. So, and we do Christmas Eve with my family, my extended family. Christmas morning is with us and then afternoon is his extended family. live with,

Ruth Hovsepian (11:53.594)
cute.

Ruth Hovsepian (11:57.73)
Right.

Ruth Hovsepian (12:18.873)
Mmm.

LaCinda Halls (12:19.441)
within like 45 minutes so you

Ruth Hovsepian (12:21.69)
that's good. Yeah.

LaCinda Halls (12:27.665)
Six of one, does another, another, right? So by the time we got home from my folks' house, it's like 10, maybe 11, and now my husband and I, I say I, all I did was hand him coffee, have to build this train table. Ruth, it was like three in the morning before we finished the start, and then you got a bag of parts that you don't like.

Ruth Hovsepian (12:28.153)
Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (12:54.317)
Yep, yep, wha- I hear ya.

LaCinda Halls (12:57.993)
So we, and because he's, he still loves them and he's 19, he still has the train table in his room. And so there, inevitably the story will come up during Christmas. Remember that Christmas when we didn't set our expectations well?

Ruth Hovsepian (13:02.583)
Yep.

Ruth Hovsepian (13:09.667)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (13:17.835)
Well, you know, I know, never buy a gift that needs assembly or batteries unless you're prepared for it. I think in our case, one of, I mean, we have a few of them, you know, I was a single mom, so we have a few kind of funny things that have happened, but I think one that's done, now we'll all have different ones, right? My kids will have different memories.

LaCinda Halls (13:24.542)
Come on.

LaCinda Halls (13:45.836)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (13:46.125)
But one that stands out to me the most was when my kids were really, really young. I think it was the first year when I was maybe like the third year that I was alone with my kids. Money, I was going to say was scarce, but that would have been a lie. It was nonexistent that year. And actually there was no money for anything. So.

LaCinda Halls (14:08.736)
Yeehaw. Okay.

Ruth Hovsepian (14:15.073)
I pulled out a roll of paper that had been given to me years earlier, like a printing press roll. And I pulled it out and we had no Christmas tree that year. So I told the kids, we're going to make a paper Christmas. You know, as a parent, I was sad. And I know, you know, as Christians and as believers, Christmas is not about trees and gifts.

Let's, let's just put that out there. You know, LaCinda and I know that, you know, and we know that, but we're talking about, you know, the traditions that go around the holiday. That's what we're doing. But that year I didn't have a Christmas tree and I didn't know what to do. So I said to them, here's a nice big roll of paper and there was not very many pieces of furniture in the house.

rolled it out on the living room floor, gave them markers and crayons and said, draw a tree and we will make decorations out of paper. Because really that's all I had. So my oldest drew the tree. She was probably around seven or eight. My youngest at the time was probably about two years old. So they drew and they made paper.

LaCinda Halls (15:23.466)
Yeah, awww.

Ruth Hovsepian (15:41.453)
decorations. And then the next step was what were we going to do as gifts? So two things. One, they made gifts for each other out of paper. My son is a genius and I, you know, I hate to tell him this, but he is for my oldest daughter. his oldest sister, he made a

LaCinda Halls (15:54.764)
Ohhhh

Ruth Hovsepian (16:11.319)
beauty gift. He made a mirror out of paper, lipstick, maybe like a compact, whatever a child of four or five knows. And that's what he gifted his sister. And I've kept it and I just recently gave it to him. And so this was, this was the gift and I think about it and I'm like,

LaCinda Halls (16:27.013)
Wow!

LaCinda Halls (16:34.572)
Ruth Hovsepian (16:40.601)
Yeah. You know what? That was the best thing that could have happened to us because I think it planted something in my kids to be appreciative. So we moved up from there in the following years to dollar store gifts. They would each get, you know, like $3 a dollar for each person that they were buying for mom and two siblings.

LaCinda Halls (17:08.746)
Yeah?

Ruth Hovsepian (17:09.685)
And honestly, I bought from there too, but, on the, you know what? God was really good. We were really, really blessed. And to this day, I do not know who blessed us. And, they've never come forward to, to tell us, but just prior to Christmas, someone left a couple of bags of groceries on my front stoop.

LaCinda Halls (17:36.044)
Awwww.

Ruth Hovsepian (17:37.739)
And someone at the church, two people actually, one handed me a check and one actually gave it to the church and said, and no one knew. They just knew I was a single mom in the church. So, you know, that has become something that as a family we've adopted and we want to pay it forward, right? We want to pay it forward. Yeah, it's those things that.

LaCinda Halls (17:59.38)
love that. I love that.

Ruth Hovsepian (18:06.435)
I think make some mom's heart.

joyful.

LaCinda Halls (18:10.944)
Yeah. So I have a similar, not close to that, that whole like what your expectations are at Christmas. What does it really mean? And we kind of started with that. Like we know that it is about Jesus, 100%. Our whole lives are pointing to Jesus. We had, when the kids were little, I bought for them, actually someone gave it to me, a little stuffed nativity scene.

Ruth Hovsepian (18:19.276)
Right.

Ruth Hovsepian (18:26.264)
Yes.

LaCinda Halls (18:41.534)
Okay, because I wanted the kids to interact with the nativity scene and to really understand it was underneath the Christmas tree. really I wanted them to, had someone had gifted, had given to me this really beautiful like porcelain one with the little gold paint on it, all nice, beautiful. Honestly, I didn't want them to touch it.

Ruth Hovsepian (18:41.549)
Mmm

Ruth Hovsepian (18:55.107)
Mm-hmm.

LaCinda Halls (19:10.848)
And so I wanted them to play.

with

Ruth Hovsepian (19:24.377)
Of course, it's calling your name.

LaCinda Halls (19:46.117)
So she's probably, my son's probably four, so we're about a year into the diagnosis. She is like seven. And I hear it again, like, and it's, just like clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. And I'm in the kitchen and I distinctly remember this. I yell at her from the kitchen. Don't play with baby Jesus. You're gonna break Jesus.

Ruth Hovsepian (20:09.753)
You're traumatizing your daughter. Listen to...

LaCinda Halls (20:14.424)
Right? I mean that is the point of it. What am I telling her about Jesus? Am I telling her that he is this glass porcelain beautiful little baby who is like whiter than white? I mean let's be honest in my nativity scene. Or do I want her to know him as her savior? To play with him?

Ruth Hovsepian (20:21.933)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (20:35.138)
Yeah.

LaCinda Halls (20:42.274)
to know that he can't be broken, right? I mean, I was all theological at this point. She probably was like, whatever, mom. But yeah, so I ended up just like letting that go. It like, okay, this is ridiculous. Maybe a week later, she has my porcelain nativity set. I don't know why I'm pointing to an imaginary tree. And she has...

Ruth Hovsepian (20:48.941)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (21:09.497)
There's a tree back there.

LaCinda Halls (21:10.83)
There's a tree back there somewhere. So she has that set. She has her stuffed animals, stuffed animals. My son has brought his Lightning McQueens. There's a Barbie. Like everybody is in the manger. Everybody is in. It's all inclusive. And she is sitting there. I'm going to tear up just thinking about it.

Ruth Hovsepian (21:31.641)
It's all inclusive. Let's send out.

LaCinda Halls (21:40.886)
She's sitting there telling the Christmas story to Thomas, my son, and to the stuffed animals and to Barbie and to Lightning McQueen. And if I just keep thinking, that's what Christmas is to me every time when I when I unpack that nativity scene now. That's the story I think of that Jesus is for Barbie and Jesus is for Lightning McQueen.

Ruth Hovsepian (21:50.105)
Hmm

LaCinda Halls (22:10.722)
and he's for the Care Bear, and he's for me, and he's for you, and he's for everyone else. And that is, that's actually one of my favorite Christmas stories that I tell people. Cause that was a mindset change for me.

Ruth Hovsepian (22:26.433)
Yeah, I think that those are the moments where you really understand what we are celebrating, this awesome gift that we have been given. The birth of Jesus really is a gift to us. It's a gift that keeps on giving. It's great for, you know, it is what it is, right? It's not...

LaCinda Halls (22:47.842)
In the name of

Ruth Hovsepian (22:53.815)
And it's not what we get out of it. It's what we're giving to others. And I love that, you know, and I see that. you know, as a parent, I watch my children now and, you know, they're still, you know, those snotty nose toddlers running around when I look at them. you know, yeah, and, you know, I look at them and I...

LaCinda Halls (23:14.854)
Yeah, it's true!

Ruth Hovsepian (23:20.985)
I just shake my head and now I'm blessed. have my bonus children, you know, I have three beautiful bonus children and you know, I'm grateful every day for all those difficult seasons in our life because without us knowing, right, this is, guess, where, you know, hindsight is 2020 comes in that I look and I say,

LaCinda Halls (23:38.559)
LaCinda Halls (23:46.451)
Yeah, true.

Ruth Hovsepian (23:50.265)
Well, if we hadn't had that difficulty, and if we hadn't gone through that season in our life, we wouldn't be who we are today. And I have to give thanks to God for those, right? Even those difficult ones, because yeah, I'm grateful for it. And God is truly, truly good. I remember

LaCinda Halls (24:06.879)
Yes. Amen.

Ruth Hovsepian (24:20.393)
You know, it's, it was hard for me in a way because I wasn't able to, to gift my kids necessarily what I would have liked to, because it was just our situation. Again, I'm grateful because I had a beautiful life with my children. will, I would go back in a heartbeat. Honestly, LaCinda, I'd go back to the leanest of lean years with my children.

LaCinda Halls (24:46.672)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (24:48.493)
because they were fun years. But I remember, you know, my kids coming home from my, you know, from their dad's side of the family, and they would come in with great big gifts and they would be so happy. But there was no place in the house for these beautiful gifts. And as an adult,

LaCinda Halls (25:11.686)
Right.

Ruth Hovsepian (25:16.953)
I resented those gifts, but I had to accept it, eat humble pie, right? Because I'm not, it wasn't my children's fault. It was me resenting the generosity of other people. So we got into a tradition that went for many years while the kids were here.

LaCinda Halls (25:21.596)
you

Ruth Hovsepian (25:43.949)
So prior to Christmas or leading up to Christmas, they would go through everything that they had and they would pull out.

You know, I meant not miss. never necessarily told them how many to pull out, but they have to empty out and make space and give away to charity to make room for what was coming in. And, but the only caveat was this, the only caveat was this. It could not be broken. It could not be torn up. could not be something that they would not want to receive themselves.

LaCinda Halls (26:10.204)
alone.

LaCinda Halls (26:23.682)
Nice. nice. Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (26:25.803)
So they became, you know, when you allow children to do this on their own, you will be surprised at how generous children are. And you know, that's how we overcame that little stumbling thing where they needed room for what was coming in that, you know, that season was gifting to others, almost sometimes brand new.

LaCinda Halls (26:38.489)
Yeah.

LaCinda Halls (26:48.186)
No.

Ruth Hovsepian (26:55.979)
unopened things because they had experience. Yeah, because I think kids come to understand lean years and what it means to give to others. I think children are very generous and I think we should allow children to be generous.

LaCinda Halls (26:58.072)
Yeah, that is so-

LaCinda Halls (27:19.417)
I yeah, think they, you know, they need the, I don't know, they need the opportunity. They want, actually they want the opportunity to be generous. And I think when I look, I wonder when your kids look back, and you might have guilt on this, but they probably don't. They probably think of, that was my childhood and I loved it.

Ruth Hovsepian (27:27.607)
Yep.

Ruth Hovsepian (27:32.729)
Yeah.

LaCinda Halls (27:49.687)
Right. We have all this guilt that we like, I should have done this or I should have done that. And we should have done me fill in the blank. And the kids usually are like, thanks for bringing the the jinky coffee mugs out of, you know, Christmas bar. They. Yeah. And they they will rise to a level, like you said, of generosity that almost embarrassed me. Like I should be more generous.

Ruth Hovsepian (27:53.133)
Mm-hmm.

Ruth Hovsepian (27:58.339)
Yep.

Ruth Hovsepian (28:05.432)
Yep.

Ruth Hovsepian (28:16.365)
Yes. yeah. Let me tell you, my kids are like that. You're right. And you know, I'm glad you brought that up because there's, you know, as, as, you know, our time is running out. I really want to talk about a couple of things. One, if you have young children, forget about stressing yourself out, making things perfect. Right.

LaCinda Halls (28:42.109)
Check your expectations, baby. Check your expectations.

Ruth Hovsepian (28:45.077)
Yeah. And don't you think, listen to that, giving your children the gift of time is the best gift you can give them?

LaCinda Halls (28:55.191)
100%. So even as a neurotypical and as a neurodiverse, you know, mom, don't just because leave space. Don't there are so many wonderful things to do at Christmas. Absolutely. But don't do yourself a favor. Don't do them. Pick like one a week, like one.

Ruth Hovsepian (29:02.489)
Mm-hmm.

Ruth Hovsepian (29:22.848)
I agree.

LaCinda Halls (29:23.976)
a week. Keep your routine. It makes it makes it more special. And honestly, the kids aren't gonna might not remember the actual thing you did, they're just going to remember like the emotions attached.

Ruth Hovsepian (29:36.363)
Exactly the feelings that they went through I know And so the the other thing that I I would love for parents to do that, you know So, you know, we're talking about younger children Give yourself grace give your children the gift of time I think if you are blessed to have older children and you know you celebrate together because I know as as and that's another thing if I may

get on my soapbox for a moment and then you tell me what you think about this dilemma that I am encountering around me. Okay, so what do you think of parents who stipulate that their children must be at their place on Christmas Day?

LaCinda Halls (30:11.094)
Okay. Okay.

LaCinda Halls (30:25.237)
Are you kidding me? sorry. Did I give it away?

Okay, so.

Ruth Hovsepian (30:32.193)
Okay, so we're on the same page on that one. All right, you tell me how you feel about that.

LaCinda Halls (30:34.965)
If Christmas is about Jesus, yes, and being together, and that's the most important thing, then if you need to do it the weekend before, then that's when Christmas is. If you need to do it in January,

Ruth Hovsepian (30:47.117)
Mm-hmm.

LaCinda Halls (31:03.413)
That's when Christmas is. One of the gifts that my mom gave us, I have three, no, don't have, I have two sisters. my goodness. Hello. I'm pretty sure I have, so I have two, there's three of us. There's two, there are two sisters. And my dad passed away when we were in our like late 20s. And then,

Ruth Hovsepian (31:17.165)
You sure felt that. Okay.

Ruth Hovsepian (31:25.113)
Mm.

LaCinda Halls (31:33.062)
we all have married and then you have all these other people in your lives and stuff. And so my mom instituted the weekend before Christmas not rule. But so we get together, our family, my mom and now her new husband and it's the weekend before because it's less stressful.

Ruth Hovsepian (31:38.275)
Yep.

Ruth Hovsepian (31:47.285)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Ruth Hovsepian (31:56.557)
Mm-hmm.

LaCinda Halls (32:01.298)
We get to just be together and relax. And that's what Christmas, it's about Jesus. But if it's about family coming together, please don't make everyone crazy because you gotta be here Christmas Eve with your pajamas on to take a family picture. End of box standing for me.

Ruth Hovsepian (32:12.675)
Yep.

Ruth Hovsepian (32:24.205)
Yeah, let me tell you, preach it sister, because I'm with you on this. you know, as I said, my kids are older, they're married, they have in-laws now, and I think the gift that every parent can give to their adult children, whether they're married or not, is to allow, or not, right, is to allow them to start their own traditions in their own homes,

LaCinda Halls (32:44.635)
Or not, that's true.

Ruth Hovsepian (32:53.929)
with their extended family. And to me, whenever we are together is a celebration. And I appreciate the in-laws of my children. I love all my in-laws. I've got relationship with them. am, yes, I know how fortunate I am on that, but they have traditions and I...

LaCinda Halls (32:57.747)
Mm-hmm.

LaCinda Halls (33:05.202)
Amen.

Ruth Hovsepian (33:24.119)
Just go celebrate. And I'm like that not with just Christmas. I'm like that for anything, whether it's Mother's Day, whether it's any holiday.

LaCinda Halls (33:26.163)
There.

Ruth Hovsepian (33:39.257)
Go and do that. And I've said to my children, if this starts to become a stressful point, then we're losing the focus on, as you said, of what we're doing. So parents out there, ladies and gentlemen, give your children this amazing gift. And finally, I would love to tell parents this.

as your children get older. Talk about years by gone. And it doesn't have to be only for Christmas. It could be on the occasion of a birthday. Sort of the, do you remember when? Because that is, you know, as a parent, you get so much insight on your children.

LaCinda Halls (34:26.45)
Yes.

LaCinda Halls (34:36.435)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (34:39.769)
I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Try it. Try it.

LaCinda Halls (34:43.579)
Well, think you really, yeah, you you ask. as we both have older kids and we've asked those questions of them and all of the stress that I felt about like making sure that we everybody had an advent calendar and, know, the things that you think you have to check off your list at Christmas. And then you ask your kids, do you remember? And then they say.

Ruth Hovsepian (34:52.415)
Mm-hmm.

Ruth Hovsepian (35:03.449)
Mm-hmm.

LaCinda Halls (35:10.905)
No, but I love the bubble lights that we put up every Christmas on the mantel.

So don't stress like to your point, don't stress yourself out. They will remember the emotions and if they even if they don't remember the actual event.

Ruth Hovsepian (35:22.199)
Yeah.

Ruth Hovsepian (35:31.521)
I agree, I agree. And it's so funny the stuff that they remember and we don't and you know things that...

LaCinda Halls (35:38.435)
That's true too!

Ruth Hovsepian (35:42.261)
They'll say, mom, do you remember? I'm like, no, but obviously it stood out because the three of them will start to laugh because they remember something I don't. Right. And I love that, you know, and maybe as we get older, we become more sentimental with these things, but I sometimes will sit, you know, in my room and, know, because listen, I'm, I'm that, that

LaCinda Halls (36:03.219)
Bye.

Ruth Hovsepian (36:12.953)
that loves having my children over. But there's a point in time, and children, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry, but I love it when they leave as well. My children function at a very different level than I do. I need quiet to recharge. They can go so they start playing games at...

Like 10 o'clock at night, 11 o'clock at night.

LaCinda Halls (36:42.387)
I used to have that energy where they took it from me.

Ruth Hovsepian (36:47.801)
Yeah, that's their fault, Their fault. And they will keep going until like two o'clock. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to bed. But honestly, know, cherish the moments with your children. They don't have to be big things. They don't have to be small things. Just, you know, I think that, you know, as we said,

LaCinda Halls (36:49.895)
It's our fault!

Ruth Hovsepian (37:14.197)
Remember what the holiday really is about, what Christmas is really about, this amazing gift that we have been given through the birth of Christ. And then cherish the time with your family. And if you don't have children, you have other family members, you have friends. Memories are what we, you know, as we get older, you know, I'm inching to 60.

you know, not that far away. And I love my memories. I love it. And I don't regret any of those years because of those memories, right? It's just, it's just filled. LaCinda, I can keep talking to you about all of this for another, you know, long time.

LaCinda Halls (37:44.979)
I

LaCinda Halls (38:10.803)
Cause we could do a series on like what now you have adult children. Let's talk about adult children.

Ruth Hovsepian (38:15.671)
Yeah, we should, we should, you know, maybe 2025, we should do that. A series on having adult children, because that's a whole other season in our lives. And I get asked a lot of questions. I don't know about you, because you have different children than I have, and they have different children. But you know, the basis of it, it works. That's why we have these conversations. But listen to...

I just want to thank you so much for sharing these wonderful stories with me and my listeners. And to our listeners, thank you for joining us as we count down to Christmas with these heartwarming conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe and follow Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian on YouTube and on any podcast listening platform and stay connected.

as we share more holiday inspiration throughout December. And you know, just look up LaCinda on social media. She's there. I'll have all of her connections and her con, not your connections, your contacts in the show notes. And you can connect through those contacts with LaCinda. So LaCinda, Merry Christmas. I wish you the very best and a Happy New Year.

and I will see you soon.

LaCinda Halls (39:43.515)
You bet, Merry Christmas!