Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian

Overcoming Life's Toughest Battles: Jodi Howe Shares Secrets to Finding Faith & Peace in Addiction & Mental Health Struggles

• Ruth Hovsepian • Season 2 • Episode 66

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Join us in this powerful episode as Ruth Hovsepian sits down with Jodi Howe, author, speaker, and host of "The Air That I Breathe" podcast, to delve into the profound role of faith in navigating life's greatest challenges. From the depths of addiction and betrayal to the struggles with illness and mental health, Jodi shares her transformative journey and the unexpected solace she found in her faith. Discover how spiritual practices, community support, and a blend of holistic approaches can guide you toward peace and resilience in the face of anxiety and depression. Whether you're seeking encouragement through life's struggles, understanding within the church, or hope and healing from anxiety, this episode offers a compassionate and honest exploration of the quiet, patient road to recovery, anchored in devotion and the promise of a peaceful harbor ahead.

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00:17 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Welcome my friends to Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian, and joining me today actually is Jodi Howe. She's an author, speaker, podcaster and the show's name is the Air that I Breathe, and she also has a book by the same name. That's Ingenious, easy Plug for Both the Podcast and the Book, and I love the fact that Jodi encourages others to live their life for the kingdom and she actually calls it Kingdom Living and I love that. 

00:48 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Welcome, jodi, thank you, ruth, it's such a pleasure to be here. 

00:52 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Well, jodi, I spent the weekend speaking at a retreat, a women's retreat, and the theme of it was Beauty for Ashes, Isaiah 61. And we heard a lot of stories about brokenness and addiction and hurt and pain. And you know it's a very difficult subject. I think everyone has gone through some kind of suffering and you know I hear these stories of brokenness and you know I hear about the mom with a daughter who has, you know, who's 17 years old and is sexting and is having issues in her life. And the mom you know that mama's heart is just breaking. You know that father that no longer has a relationship with a teenage son. The wife who has been faithful and has discovered her husband's hidden computer and horrible addiction to pornography. A questioning woman who doesn't know how to deal with her mother, who no longer recognizes her because of Alzheimer's. You know we live in a broken world and it's a tough. 

02:10
It's tough out there, you know, and we we both are in ministry and I get questions all the time about what do I do, how do I do it? It's a golden question. Yeah, I wish, I wish I could just hold that person and just give them, you know, that perfect answer. 

02:37 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah. I wish we could just easily say Jesus because for a lot of us who walk very closely, tightly, oily, with him, we know that's where the piece comes from, but it's it's easier said than done to look at someone and say just stop falling, go with Jesus. Read the Bible yeah, I've heard, is real. I've walked through a lot of it. I'm sure we all have stories and testimonies. But my heart in the last few months have has been very deeply drawn to sort of looking at people and every aspect. 

03:23
I'm an observer, I've always been an observer and I want to look at people and and say, number one, I get it regardless. Word is hurt, right, it doesn't really matter what the circumstances are. If it broke your heart down, it broke your spirit down, broke your, it just inflated your insecurities and just betrayal and disappointment. I wish and pray that the simple words that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life would really resonate more with people. I mean, we can just watch TV, we can go on social media, we can just see the world as it's progressively failing, yeah, detériorating and deteriorating, and be able to say, because we know I don't have all the answers, I'm a lifelong learner, I'll be going at this until the Lord takes me. But, ruth, it really is Jesus, yeah, and it's not just Jesus, because of what the word says and the truth of the gospel messages and God's power within us. It's that peace that surpasses understanding. 

04:36 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, and it's difficult, you know, especially when you know I'm I'm mentoring or counseling a woman that is walking with the Lord and is struggling and she's crying in my arms and saying, what do I do? And my first gut reaction, because of my experience and I'm not saying that I don't have those moments where I'm in tears and I'm saying, lord, why, what do I do? I had one of those yesterday, you know, and we all have issues that we're dealing with, whether it's ours or our families. And yet, even though I was weeping and praying and crying yesterday and saying, lord, what do I do? How do I deal with this? What, what's my next step? I had the reassurance that at the end it will work out with in his will, not the way I want to see it. 

05:35
And I think I've come to understand one thing for myself when I see that things are not progressing the way I want it to go or the way I think it should be, that is when I start to question where I am and what I'm doing. When I feel reassured that, okay, lord, you've got the steering wheel on, just the passenger here, then there's more of a calmness in my life, and I know that yesterday I just prayed it through and I went to sleep. I actually was able to sleep, you know, and, and, and I and I don't say that because I did it, I just believe that, because I believe in what the word says and I know my Bible and I've been through what I've been through. I have that reassurance. 

06:27 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
So beautiful. Yeah, you know it's my book. We'll talk about it in a little bit but what the Lord laid so intensely on my heart as I wrote it and it took me six years, wow, it's not like overnight was giving strategies Like, for instance yeah, we know that God can do incredible things Something as simple as I'm having a rough day. I'm laying it down for you. I need a piece so I can sleep, and he provides it. But what I found with, specifically, people who deal with struggles in life mental struggles, anxiety that simple basic strategies are a good thing in order to draw us closer to that piece. And, ultimately, I believe that, the transparency of us as sisters in Christ, talking to each other and telling the world it's okay if you have a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, lord knows they come and go and ebb and flow, so us, as women of Christ, sitting here, do not watch us and say, huh, they got it all together. No, you know this is but now what we're saying? 

07:38 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
right, yeah, and I'm so glad you said that. I'm just so glad because you know, as you said, we've all been through something. We're going through something, whether we are in ministry, whether we're not, or whatever. We are in this journey and I would be so remiss in not making people understand that just because I am where I am in my walk in, and that I have healed from the past, that I don't deal with issues and I don't have problems. And one of the biggest things that I heard this past weekend, jodi and it really cemented in this fact is that as leaders, we need to be transparent. I heard this over and over and I know that I've been told in the past you have to be transparent, you need to be honest. But this weekend really, really cemented it in for me saying when the women came and said your transparency has made me open up and be able to share. And I think we do a disservice when we don't talk about hurts because, for whatever reason, whether it's- you know, it's very true. 

09:06 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
I couldn't agree with you more. I wouldn't be where I am today, in this place of peace through anxiety, had I not been in a room with other people talking about the struggles of mental health. God works in ways that are so critical and are feeling safe in environments that other people have walked through certain valleys, just like us. I mean, the whole Bible is about stories. It says love story to us. Why is it so important that Jesus put out all these parables of ideas? If this happens? This is how you react If this happens, or we and I and I'll tell you, I heard something in ministry that pushed back to that thought. I agree with you 100%, ruth, but there's a pastor, famous pastor, that said maybe we don't need to share everything and I just can't help but think if you're doing it for the right reasons, okay. 

09:58 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
So don't don't misunderstand the people out there that are just talking about everything and they're trying to get all these accolades and attention for it. 

10:05 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
I go out there and put out my heart and my testimonies because I want you to know that I've been there, I get it. I'm going to be somewhere else, I'm sure, at some point in the future. But the tools, whether it's the armor of God, understanding that every single day has to be in the presence of him, you have to invite him in every single day when you wake up. First and foremost, not going on your phone, not going on social media, not going to the world, because the world is conforming us into not believing in Jesus Christ. Let's just be true teller, just put a video out the other day about that. 

10:39
Do not conform to the ways of the world is no joke. We are all conforming in ways that we want to get attention, accolades, success. But I need to be able to say to someone I get the anxiety that you're dealing with. Here are some strategies, but ultimately it ended with the Lord's power in my life and building me up and enduring me, and I believe also to Ruth that that endurance that he builds in us through our struggles, through walking through valleys and all that are just helping us for the next problem. Amen, because he tells us there will be trials. 

11:15 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Right, there will and that I could end tomorrow. And I you know you, I know that when I first give it started talking about my past, I was told frequently at the beginning no one says it anymore because my story is out there, it's, it's public, it's international that I am a recovering addict from alcohol, sex and porn. And I was told well, you don't have to give up, you don't have to say all that, you just need to say you lived, you know, in a dark, you were in a dark place, you lived in sin and I bought into it for a little while because I was ashamed of of my past and where I have been and what I had seen and experienced. And yet after my first book because it's in my book I was very honest about things. It was actually very telling from people's reactions that I had done a disservice to people by just saying I was in a dark place. 

12:31
Now, speaking to someone yesterday about this, we both agreed because of our past. We, we never talk about details. I'm not into this for voyeuristic or, as you very, very correctly said, I'm not here for accolades. I'm not here for people to go oh wow, you know well. No, but there has to be a point where people can connect with my story and say, wow, she understands. And this is my ministry. My ministry is giving the hurting hope and giving glory to God. 

13:13 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
That's why I'm here. 

13:14 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, that's why we do it. It's exactly why we do it. We're not doing it for the money, we're not doing it for the fame, you know, and and I'm happy with what I'm doing. I mean, I'm happy that I'm serving the Lord, I'm not happy I get it. 

13:29 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah, I get it yeah. 

13:30 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I'm happy to serve the Lord in the capacity that he wants me to. Well, let me ask you this question why do you think that we hesitate? Or many instances the church tries to say it's not necessary to talk about your hurt, your anxiety, right, Because anxiety is, you know, though I've heard it say oh, anxiety is emotional, we, we don't need to talk about it, it's what it's, it's your feelings, it's not, you know, concrete. Why do you think the church has gone in that direction and and not in the direction of helping and and uplifting the hurting? 

14:21 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
So God just laid something on my spirit and it's probably going to take off a few people in the church world. No worries here. But I'm going to say it because I'm with you, girl. 

14:29 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I mean we have to speak the truth. 

14:31 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
I think it's because it's something they can't control. In other words, they're not educated enough to understand that, yes, there is a motion with anxiety and depression. 

14:42
There's also physical, medical reasons as to why people are anxious and depressed. There are spiritual reasons and so on and so forth. When I first started this journey, well, I came to Christ through my anxiety, so I'm grateful that this is my part of the many testimonies the Lord has given me. But one of the things that I had heard in the beginning part of as I was starting to you know, understand it, talk, learn more about scripture, build a deeper walk with Christ it was a prayed away mentality and I'm glad you said that. I really, really got frustrated over that because to me, praying something just away is literally saying that God is a genie in a bottle and if I just rub it three times, the miracle will happen. And I find that to be a disservice to Christ, who came to die for our sins but to teach us. He was a teacher, right Everything he said to all the sinners in the New Testament follow me, follow me In. Following doesn't mean boom, it's done. It means you're going to learn a lot as you walk this journey. 

15:53
And so, yeah, do you pray when you have an anxious panic attack or an anxious moment? Of course you do, but there's other things, like if you're sitting there and you're I use this as an example, and this goes into the secular world. But if you're sitting there drinking monster drinks all day and you're wondering why you're having a panic attack at seven o'clock at night, let me tell you something your body was not meant to have that much caffeine. Or if you're constantly, you know this is someone who's recovering alcoholic when you have all. I know this because I used to drink a lot in college when I was in a sorority. I was very abusive to my body. I was foolish, didn't know the Lord and made some really bad choices. 

16:27
Yeah, did it cure my anxiety? For the short term? Absolutely. I felt like I was on cloud nine. But hours later, when you wake up, the anxiety goes threefold. In fact, I don't even really drinking at all anymore in my life. I just have a social cocktail, like every few months really. But I'm with you on that. I can feel the effects of it, just because I don't. You know I've cleaned out my body a lot. So the point is this yeah, of course prayer is critical in the first and foremost, but there's other things you need to do and understand, and so I just don't think the church is educated well enough to realize that there are so many components to this and it is getting worse because of because of these. I'll put up this little handy Danny divide, right? Yeah, everything I mean it's it's a double edged sword. It's helpful and it's killing us at the same time. 

17:22 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I agree with you. You know, last week's episode was talking about domestic violence in the church and how we respond to it and what we do, and it kind of comes alongside this as well. Right, because leadership and pastors think that they need to resolve and fix everything, whereas that's not what their job is to fix someone who is doing it there to guide and to help them. And, and I Dread when I hear leadership in churches say pray it away. If your faith was strong enough, you could pray it away, and I and I I am on you, with you on that that we are belittling what the Lord does, and we are. 

18:13
I love your example of he's not a genie in a bottle. You rub it, you pray and suddenly it's all to your wishes. You know, granted, yes, first of all, I'm gonna pull something out my Bible. Uh-huh, if we are in the word, this is our first step to recovery. It was for me, jody, and I'm telling you yeah, the word and prayer was what I use, my tools, and, and when people ask me for tools, those are two out of the three that I give them and the. The third for Me is having a group of people, a church family, a group of women, people that you can go to pray with weep, with hug, with whatever it is. 

19:00 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah, fellowship is very clear in the Bible exactly, and mine fell on the floor because my desk there's the Bible right there, but it's it's right there. Go out and make disciples of other people, but he talks also about building Fellowship with other people conversations, accountability support love and I commend you for Honoring that and telling people that is a critical part of the walk. Whatever walk, yeah, going through. What is the point of? 

19:30 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
yeah, what is the point of me giving Bible verses to someone to soothe them and help them through it? They need to. They need to have that relationship. And I'm also very, very careful to say and point out that reading your Bible, praying and having a community or fellowship is not going to miraculously heal you. You know, from social anxiety or you know other anxieties or addictions or Abuse or what. There are steps that we need to take, and, and you know one one of the things that I'm a big Proponent of is the church needs to put into place a Play action, an action plan to say, if somebody in the church is dealing with X, y and Z, then this is what we are going to do. This is how we are going to deal with it, not when somebody suddenly comes and says you know and, and I had this, you know. Recently someone Messaged me online I don't know the woman, she's found me online and she said my husband is a leader in the church and I just found his account for only fans. What do I do? 

20:51 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Oh boy, yeah hey. 

20:57 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
It is. And she said I went to the church leadership. Now her husband's a leader in a church. She said I went to my pastor and my pastor said oh well, you know you need to speak to him and this and that, and. And she said I felt as though I did something wrong by Bringing this to light. And she said I'm not even talking about it to anyone. I went to my pastor but the the feeling I got was that my husband was being defended, oh, and not being yeah. 

21:31 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah, and yeah. 

21:32 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I know this is a whole other conversation. 

21:34 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
No, it's a good one, though it because it's a real problem. We look to the church and I apologize if I break away from the camera. I this is allergy season for North Carolina and I had no worries, I'm like whoo and the pollen content is terrible. So you know, this is such a critical, important conversation because people really do only get fed through the church, which I warn people, don't allow that to be your only source of Jesus. Please, please, please. An hour a week is not enough. 

22:03 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
In fact, most churches are not getting it right and Well, it's not even an hour a week, jody, it's only a few minutes, right, 20 minutes. 

22:13 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah, like if Paul was around today he'd be writing a lot of letters, okay, and I can name about three churches off the top of my head where those letters would be going Well, with that said it, you can't use because man is broken. I'm sure you and. 

22:27
I go off on a total, another tangent of that. But with that said, you have to be intentional. I, I, I've gone through some really bad church hurt, really, really, really bad, and For the first church that broke my heart, it was because I wasn't Intelligent enough with the Bible, and the only way you become intelligent is you read it, you study it, you understand it and stop it. People saying it's too hard and it's and it's too confusing. No, it is not. This is someone who is just like I'm trying to read the screw tape letters right now from CS Lewis. That's confusing, that is hard. I mean, there are so many translations out there, you know yeah. 

23:07
Pick a, pick a chance you gotta do. Yeah, king James. 

23:10 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, and I, yeah, I'm encouraging women to take their different versions. We've got the internet. Use your computer. Yeah, take, take the different versions, look at them, study them. 

23:23
Don't read just a verse. Read the chapter, read the whole book, read it in the context of the historical setting. Understand it for yourself so that if you're pastor or someone that you follow, or you, you know, look up to says something, you'll go Hmm, I'm not sure if that's what it said. Actually, you know. And stop, I know this. This people don't like this. But don't take it out of context and say, oh, this was for me today Because, yes, it you can read and find solace in it. Yeah, but read it in the context and let the Bible speak to you. Don't take it and twist it to fit the scenario that you're trying to resolve. Amen it. Yeah, I mean, I just want to empower everyone out there. It's great to read books because I'm a reader, I love to study, I'm, you know, I watch people's sermons, I watch others who speak, but at the end of the day, I am responsible to feed myself. 

24:41 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah, me too. We have to be, we have to be intentional. And the thing is 3050, how many years ago, when people walked into a church to be fed, to understand it, they only had a small group, a Bible and the church, the end books, maybe some good books out there. We have ridiculous amounts of sources out there to help us that can do it well and so. But I think because of that, the internet and all the things, like I said, it was a double inch sort. I think that it also can add more confusion to. So you have to find a church that you have vetted the pastor, you have vetted the elders, you watch, watch, watch sermons and then you go back to the Bible and you check it out and if it's a good church and a good pastor and good leadership, they're going to insist you do that. 

25:35 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah. 

25:36 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
And yeah, so it's hard, but anyone who's watching please just be your own Christian advocate, for your, for your spirit, and get into the word and understand, because I went to a church one time that tried to tell us that turn the other cheek was not turn the other cheek. I got to tell you they're manipulative narcissist and I got to tell you. For a few weeks they convinced me and then I was in the word and I was like wait a minute nope, he actually meant that Turn the other cheek because he's gonna work it out for good. 

26:09
He doesn't want that to be a defense mechanism. When someone hurts you. He wants you to look to him and allow him to work through the problem. So it happens. 

26:20 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, it's it. I know that, you know. I know that someone you know may say to us but you know, you're just giving us basic stuff, that's all. That's all it is. 

26:32 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
We don't have a complicated it's not that complicated. I'm so glad you said it because it's hard to say it's so not that complicated yeah. 

26:42 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I don't have like a 40 step manual for you. I have, I do, I have. 

26:50 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah, but I like your book. 

26:52 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Your book is actually, you know, let's look at that. You know your book is called the air that I breathe, hope and healing from anxiety. Right, and it's 20 day, 22 day and night devotions, and I like that. 

27:07 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
You're, you're simple. 

27:10 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
We're not telling you that you need to do all of these things to to come out on the. You know, you don't have to buy my course and you don't have to buy my book to find healing. What we're giving you is some guidance and a place to start, and coming alongside you and saying, let me, let me help you through this difficulty. 

27:35 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
I remember the pain being so intense and when I started to walk through it and the Lord worked through it and gave me all this content and ideas of hey you know what? Because I looked for this book, it wasn't out there. 

27:46 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I look for it. 

27:47 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
So I want. There's thousands of books on anxiety, but I wanted a book that glorified the Lord in connecting me to him. So I wrote that. But absolutely I'm not saying this is the thing that's going to help you per se, but I know what it feels like to be in those moments days, weeks of pure anxiety, like it's hard for people who don't experience it. But it could be weeks and weeks and weeks of being unfunctional, being not being able to eat, sleep, breathe correctly. It's devastating. 

28:19
And ironically, ruth, I've met people that have walked through a lot of these kind of anxious episodes. So I put it out there to say maybe you know, maybe you're talking to your doctor and your doctor is giving you some kind of medicine. I'm not anti medicine. I mean the Lord gave us Western medicine. We still have to be diligent about how we use it, but it's there. So you know whatever you need to do go holistic, you know, change your eating habits, all the things I encourage, all of that. But I know that nothing is a quick fix. So that's why it's 22 days, because what I found is it took about three weeks, and I just like the number two to the about three weeks to really start to feel better. 

29:00
And then from there on, you know, and I did night and day devotions because you could wake up and read some of the things that I'm encouraging. And then the night happens and it's a whole other animal, because nighttime is where anxiety tends to be inflated. Waking up at three o'clock in the morning with a panic attack is pretty scary. So I try to give you just some tools to use and I just I don't want you to feel the pain. That's what I'm helping you, not feel the pain. I believe that's a gospel message right there, because God is the God of peace and he wants us to be the peace makers. 

29:39 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
And I love the fact. You know giving people the tools and they take the tool. And if the tool just sits there, it's not going to it, nothing will change. You take the tools, you use the tools, you learn how to use the tools and then you become efficient in those tools and you start to see change. You're able to make those changes in your life. And it doesn't matter, you can have dozens of books out there with you, know all kinds of tools and tips, and if you don't use it, how do you, how do you create change in your life? It's it's, it's a step out of time. You take the tools and use them. 

30:28 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
One of the things that I've learned with this walk, with anxiety and just understanding a lot of what's going on is there's really. The problem is is there's not really shortcuts to life, but it's not complicated. So I hope that that doesn't contradict what I'm saying, because there's no shortcuts but it's not complicated. In other words, if I wake up today and I'm just like listening to the world and feeling the world, and feeling all of the overwhelming things that are going wrong in my life, in my world, whatever, if I don't immediately go to the Lord and say, lord, you know, I'm just, I'm going to give you my day, I'm going to give you my problems, I'm going to give you my struggles and just show me, grow me, teach me. I want to learn from you. That's not. That was right there for for for going, my intentionality of walking with the Lord, and so there's not a shortcut in that. 

31:23
But it's not that complicated. Does that make sense? Like I have to bring him into my spirit at that moment? Is he there waiting? Of course he is, but he wants to know how badly I want it, because that's that relationship right there, right. So he's, he's, he's always waiting in the shadows, but it's when I say, lord, I just I'm trying to fix this argument. I'm trying to fix this problem and trying to understand something I can't he's like right here. 

31:52 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, we need to turn off the noise of the world to hear what the Lord is telling us, what the Holy Spirit is giving to us. And unless we, we Literally turn it off, we, we won't hear that. You know that's still tiny, soft voice saying to us it's okay, you know, like, come, come into my presence and I'm walking with you. I think it's the noise of the world and sometimes the noise of the world is the, the ministries around us, the churches around us. I think that's even. I know it's not gonna be nice to say this, people won't like it, but that's sometimes it is worse than the world, right? Because when you hear the world's noise you say, oh, that's the world and you step away from it. But now you, you're following a Christian influencer and and social media person or church or pastor, and that noise becomes so loud you no longer hear the Holy Spirit telling you so true what he's telling you right, and I don't want people to Misunderstand me I use social media, you use social media. 

33:11
That's how we get our messages out. Those are our platforms. But there's a happy medium. I, I Use it. I you know I get, I learn from it. But there's a there's a time and place where I will say, okay, I need to turn this down, because I need the quiet time you know, to sit here, read my Bible, study my Bible and and Find out for myself Whatever it is I'm searching for at that moment. 

33:47 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
I'm I'm so grateful that I have that opportunity. Like I, look forward to my quiet time with the Lord. I have this little space in my family room. It's a chair that is like the cushion is practically to the floor, because last year I walked through a separation of marriage and divorce, which was one of the valleys that I will honestly say and and my ex is not a believer, so I'm sure you can understand there was a tremendous era. 

34:13
Consirable difference with that. And that chair cushion is going lower and lower because it was a place of being in a faith cocoon. I'm not gonna own that because that would be Christine Kane that I learned that from, but I want to share with the listeners because and the viewers because that faith cocoon was critical and my growing with Christ and in what it basically consists of is you are only in the word, you're only in prayer, you only listen to worship music, you don't watch anything on television that's, you know, going to bring in fear, doubt, frustration, sexual immorality, none of that. You only associate with people who are of Accountability, christian faith like you've. You see the accountability that they are walking Humbly and wholeheartedly with Jesus. Not perfect people, just people that you know you can trust, and you engulf yourself in this cocoon and you just trust the Lord. 

35:19
Through that process and I have to tell you it Started this whole habit of me being like, oh my gosh, I didn't have any time with the Lord today. 

35:30
Oh boy, here comes the world right and and I'm grateful that what I do in ministry and I also I'm a singer, so I teach voice lessons that brings in income, that I don't have to be somewhere and I know that's not always everybody's option. I get it that people have to get up, take care of kids. You and I are moms and we I don't know what your, how old your kids are, but mine are all 17 and 22, so luckily I don't have that hindrance of having to get up early and do all the things. But you have to make time for it because, ruth, I know, I know your heart, you and I both know what we've walked through in life, what we've experienced. The world is not helping you, it is not for you, it is against you and and the conforming is a real thing that we Amatically are gonna do if we go into our phones and go into the world of social media and whatnot, and If you want to Feel the blessing rewards of Christ's peace, you've got to be intentional to give him that time. 

36:38 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I agree with you and you know, as I went through my journey of sobriety and, you know, drew closer to the Lord and my walk with him got stronger, I Became, I began to really Struggle with the demands of the world. You know, like things and taking me away. 

37:00
So I have very intentionally now Put it on my calendar that from this time of the morning to this time, I Don't. I don't record podcasts, I'm not on anyone's podcast. It's rare that I am, I don't do anything, I'm not on social media. That time, those hours are spent in the word Prayer, because I'm, I'm. You know, for me prayer is huge. I've committed to praying to people and you know, this past weekend I Humbly took on, you know, prayer requests that people asked me to pray for them and I Really don't book anything and try not to do anything during that time. That that has become sacred to me, because if I don't, I Don't feel myself. 

38:00 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Yeah you know, Right, you don't feel yourself yeah, I don't, I needed. 

38:06 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I needed because this is this. My sobriety was done in, in secret, nobody knew, because nobody knew I was an addict at the time and Therefore my reliance was on the Lord. It was so heavy. That was my go-to, my therapist, my, my partner I cried with. So, you know, as as the demands of the world got more on me, I found myself saying, oh, but wait a minute, where is my first love, the one, the one person that was there for me over and over again? Yeah, you know, jodi, this is a conversation that can go on, for a while. 

38:49 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
I love it, I love it I think what time is of the essence? 

38:52 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, we are very passionate about what we've been through and our experiences, but I Really want to leave everyone with Psalm 34, verses 17 and 18. The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them. He delivers them from all their troubles, all their troubles. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit and, my dear friends, I thank you so much for being with me and with Jodi how today in our conversation, and if you want to know more and I you know, really highly recommend getting Jodi's book the air I breathe, hope and healing from anxiety 22 day and night devotions there it is, yeah, it's available online. 

39:48
It'll be in the show notes. I'll have a Jodi's contact information. You know, tell us how you deal with your anxiety, tell us what you know, some tools that you use to deal with anxiety and Difficulties that you are dealing with, and I'd love to hear that, jodi, thank you so much and I hope we have a repeat of this again. 

40:11 - Jodi Howe (Guest)
Me too. Thank you so much, ruth. 

40:13 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Thank you blessing.