Ruth Hovsepian and Sherrie Pilkington, the host of the podcast 'Finding God in Our Pain' talk about how to find God in your pain. Sherrie shares her personal experience of unexpectedly losing her husband and how she found comfort and hope in God during her grief. They discuss the importance of being still and listening to God, the struggle of questioning God's goodness in difficult times and finding identity and contentment in Him. Sherry emphasizes the intimate and unique relationship each person can have with God and how He cares for us in our pain.
Takeaways
✔God is with us even in the darkest times of grief and loss.
✔Being still and listening to God can bring comfort and revelation.
✔It is natural to question God's goodness and struggle with Him during difficult times.
✔Finding identity and contentment in God rather than earthly labels or relationships.
✔God cares for us intimately and uniquely, meeting us where we are in our pain.
✔Website - ALifeOfThrive.com
✔Instagram - @LiveLovedThrive
✔Facebook - @A Life of Thrive
✔Podcast - Finding God In Our Pain
✰ SOCIALS ✰
✔Website - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/
✔Podcast - https://outofthedarknesswithruthhovsepian.buzzsprout.com/
✔Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ruthhovsepian/
✔Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ModernDayRuthRedeemed/
✔LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruthhovsepian/
✔Speaking - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/speaking
✔Books - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/booksruthhovsepian
✰ BUSINESS EMAIL ✰
info@ruthhovsepian.com
✰ MUSIC ✰
hot music - winning-elevation
Ruth Hovsepian and Sherrie Pilkington, the host of the podcast 'Finding God in Our Pain' talk about how to find God in your pain. Sherrie shares her personal experience of unexpectedly losing her husband and how she found comfort and hope in God during her grief. They discuss the importance of being still and listening to God, the struggle of questioning God's goodness in difficult times and finding identity and contentment in Him. Sherry emphasizes the intimate and unique relationship each person can have with God and how He cares for us in our pain.
Takeaways
✔God is with us even in the darkest times of grief and loss.
✔Being still and listening to God can bring comfort and revelation.
✔It is natural to question God's goodness and struggle with Him during difficult times.
✔Finding identity and contentment in God rather than earthly labels or relationships.
✔God cares for us intimately and uniquely, meeting us where we are in our pain.
✔Website - ALifeOfThrive.com
✔Instagram - @LiveLovedThrive
✔Facebook - @A Life of Thrive
✔Podcast - Finding God In Our Pain
✰ SOCIALS ✰
✔Website - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/
✔Podcast - https://outofthedarknesswithruthhovsepian.buzzsprout.com/
✔Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ruthhovsepian/
✔Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ModernDayRuthRedeemed/
✔LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruthhovsepian/
✔Speaking - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/speaking
✔Books - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/booksruthhovsepian
✰ BUSINESS EMAIL ✰
info@ruthhovsepian.com
✰ MUSIC ✰
hot music - winning-elevation
Ruth Hovsepian (00:01.567)
Welcome to Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian, the podcast where we bring light, hope, and encouragement to those navigating life's challenges. I'm your host, Ruth Hovsepian, and today we have a truly heartwarming and inspiring episode for you. You know, in our toughest moments, it can feel like we're all alone, but it's important to remember that we never truly are.
God enters into our painful places and guides us through offering comfort and hope. Sherrie Pilkington Sherrie Pilkington is my guest today. Sherrie is the host of the podcast, Finding God in Our Pain, where she dives into the tough questions about suffering and faith. After unexpectedly
Sherrie has been on a mission to share the message that God is with us, even in the darkest of times. Sherrie , welcome.
Sherrie Pilkington (01:08.046)
Thank you so much Ruth, it is a pleasure to be here.
Ruth Hovsepian (01:10.975)
Sherrie , to kick things off, can you share a moment when you felt God's presence during your grief and how it changed your perspective?
Sherrie Pilkington (01:23.694)
You know, it's, I don't know, funny, strange, I don't know what the right word there is, but in the moment that God was doing the thing of letting me know that he was there, I didn't necessarily take it in in that moment. It was, in hindsight, a lot of times, I'd get a little distance, especially that first year. The first year was very strange to me. It was, I couldn't maintain conversations with people, I couldn't retain thoughts, or at least information.
And so the first year I do not remember at all, but after that first year I was like, you know what Lord? I'll give you this example. One, I had committed to writing a blog. The Lord had been after me for a couple of two, three years to start writing, but I thought he wanted me to write a book, but I didn't have a book. And I kept saying, Lord, if you want me to write a book, then you got to give me a book, but he never would. Well, then I found out about blog posts. I thought, you know what? I can write short bytes of information and text. So I commit, I'm like, Lord, I'm in.
I set a launch date for my blog on March 3rd. And then my husband, unexpectedly, no health issues whatsoever, not a lazy man, worked hard, passes away on February 21st. And so I'm like, Lord, I finally committed to you to write this book, but you've pulled the rug out from underneath me. Like, how am I supposed to function in this, with this, that you've given me to deal with? And...
He asked, I don't ever hear audible words. I hear, the best I can describe it, is I hear it, but it's with my heart or my spirit or my soul. So I get this download in my spirit. And he said, what do you want to do? And I said, I don't trust myself at all right now. I can't make a decision. But it rose up in my spirit that if I didn't go to this launch, I would never do it. And I told the Laura said, okay, I do know that if I don't go to this launch,
that I will never go, I will never write again, I'll never be interested in doing anything that has to do with this blog. So I went and the majority of the people that were there knew my circumstance, so they were very kind to me in that. But after that year, I looked and a blog post had been written every week and I was like, wow, Lord, you showed up and wrote these blog posts for me because all I did was show up on the date and time that I had agreed with the Lord that I was gonna have my writing schedule.
Sherrie Pilkington (03:43.79)
And then he would give me content at the time I didn't really realize that's what he was doing. But looking at all of a sudden I realized, wait, I got 52 blog posts. It's been a year. And then even I would go back and read some of those blog posts and I'd be like, wow, this is really revelatory information. This is not stuff I knew. This is stuff downloaded to me by the Holy Spirit. So just watching him do that in the first year was like, wow, you are so attentive and kind to be faithful to show up even when I couldn't, I physically showed up.
but I can't say that I was honestly mentally or emotionally there. So that was beautiful.
Ruth Hovsepian (04:17.631)
You know, it's so much to unpack there. I don't know why, I'll talk about myself, I don't know why I'm always so amazed at the Lord's timing, at how he knows what we need when we need it. I don't know why I'm surprised because he's an all -knowing God.
He knows it before it happens. He knows it before we even realize what we need for ourselves. But I find it always looking back how God provides for our needs emotionally, physically, spiritually, in every way. And it's interesting because someone yesterday was asking me this very question about...
How do you hear what the Lord is saying to you? I answered exactly the way you did. I don't hear an audible voice. There is something in my spirit, in my soul that starts to nag at me. Well, we know what that is. It's the Holy Spirit come knocking on our door and saying, you know, you need to do this. And I know it's, but.
Sherrie Pilkington (05:23.598)
Yeah.
Sherrie Pilkington (05:30.957)
All right.
Ruth Hovsepian (05:39.935)
But you know, I think that if you were not ready, you would not have heard that knock. Or if there was too much noise in your life, you also don't hear that knock of the Holy Spirit saying, Ruth, Shari, this is what I want for you.
Sherrie Pilkington (06:03.502)
True. Yeah.
Sherrie Pilkington (06:08.398)
And I think there, when God says be still, there's so many ways to interpret that. And for me in that season to be still, which I didn't have any other option, I was prostrate in every way as far as just undone. And I had to be still, so I didn't really have a choice. But in that be still is when he speaks. That's why you'll hear me say now that God speaks beautiful things in the dark.
Ruth Hovsepian (06:12.575)
Mmm.
Ruth Hovsepian (06:33.055)
Mm. Amen. Yeah. Let me ask you this, this question that is running through my head. How do you reconcile the death of your husband at a time when it was, it was not seen, there was no reason. How do you not stop and say, Lord, why?
Why? What did I do wrong? Or what did we do? Because I think this is a question that you must get asked, but how do you not question what happened? Why, Lord?
Sherrie Pilkington (07:16.398)
I gave him my whys. I wanted to know what was going on because when your world is flipped upside down, you're trying to find some way to settle yourself, like to find your balance again. But the problem is, is there's not going to be any balance for a while. It just depends on to what degree you've lost something. Because we're talking about the loss of my husband, but what I've discovered that there are many types of deaths, whatever that we have.
Ruth Hovsepian (07:18.943)
I bet.
Ruth Hovsepian (07:26.111)
Mmm.
Ruth Hovsepian (07:39.871)
Yes.
Sherrie Pilkington (07:40.366)
Attached ourselves to something that we found very near and dear to our heart when we are separated from that There's this freefall and depending on to what degree our identity was wrapped up in that thing a job a house a family my husband a health issue certain independence you've lose you lose those things then that identity crisis comes into play and Satan makes waste no time and bringing back things that
you have experienced before and adding it now to this situation here. So there's no way that you cannot struggle with the Lord. As a matter of fact, now in hindsight, we must struggle with the Lord. I think the question though really is, how do we struggle well with God? And for me, again, in hindsight, I understood what the Lord was doing with me in three ways. One of the things, when I poured out my pain and it was raw pain, so a lot of people probably would have said that was ungodly.
that was disrespectful or whatever, but God never shamed me or rejected me or turned me away. I won't say that he engaged in an argument with me when he knew that all I wanted was an argument, but he always just, it was almost as if I poured it all out and it evaporated. So I would have this quiet time where I just purged all of my pain. But three of the things that I learned was that God was welcoming me to talk.
to him, not at him. And if you've ever had a teenager, you know what I'm talking about. Sometimes they don't like what you're saying, so they don't care about what you're saying. And so you get into this argument with them and they don't care. So when I got to the point where the Lord knew I wanted an argument, He would not engage me in an argument. He let me pour out my, you know, have my little pity party for one. Again, I did not feel that He rejected me or shamed me. But then when I was ready to talk to Him, then I would hear Him speak.
something sweet or kind or, and a lot of times too, and again, I can't really explain it because it is a supernatural experience that I felt a presence close to me, but there's nobody there. And so in this engaging God's heart and trying to be authentic and genuine with him about my pain, I did feel his presence. And then, so talk to God, not at God, but talk with God and not about God. When I was out,
Sherrie Pilkington (10:03.918)
you know, at the very early stages when I'm out in, I won't say the streets, but like people whom you really shouldn't be discussing such intimate pain with. I am at risk every time that I question God's goodness and his authority in this search of looking to see, you know, God, who are you in this context? And so every time I would, like, God, why would you do this? You're the good God I profess, but you didn't show up.
Where were you? Like, I need to know that you care. And I told him point blank, now that you did not show up when I needed you the most in my entire life, I feel like everything's up for grabs. And I don't know if I could ever trust you again. Are my children up for grabs? Are my grandchildren up for grabs? Are you going to show up if I need you then? And so there was just this lot of pain pouring out. But as I talked with God, I gave him...
my pain. I wasn't out telling the neighbors how sad I am, how bad I got it, how, you know, being a widow is terrible. I got God's attention as far as he gave me his affection in the midst of that pain. And one time I remember asking God, let's see, what was, I know it was a why question. I'm trying to remember specifically what it was. You know, you could have stopped this God, but you didn't. Why didn't you give us just a little more time? Anything? Could you have prepared me? And
He spoke into my spirit again and he said, Sherrie , I love when he calls my name and he's firm and he's calm and I'm over there losing it and he's like Sherrie , some things simply belong to me. And when he said that in that moment, I was reminded of his sovereignty. I was reminded of who I am wrestling with. And so I calmed down, I just went calm and I went quiet. But even later when I was reading Psalm 23 and it says, you know, he gives us paths of righteousness. And I thought in that moment that,
exchange with the Lord came to me. God had the answer to my question. He's God. He had the answer to my question, but he didn't give me any answer because probably, primarily because I don't have any sort of context. You know how you only tell children certain things because they can only conceive a certain, so I had no context for whatever that answer was. I had no influence and no authority, whatever his answer would have been. But what I think as his daughter, this is where I really think he was going with that.
Sherrie Pilkington (12:23.534)
is because he knew me better than I know myself. And he knew that my heart was that I wanted my husband back. But because that wasn't gonna happen, he just said, Sherrie , some things belong to me. And what he did in that moment was sit in the tension and let his reputation take a hit, if you will, because if I thought anything less of him, he was not concerned about his reputation with me.
but he was concerned about me. And so rather than give me another rabbit trail to run down, because whatever his answer had been, that was my next target to argue about. And so he just said, Sherrie , some things simply belong to me, like rest. Will you just rest in me? Will you just trust me? And so he's asking me to trust. And then the third thing would be just to listen. You know, that be still thing we were talking about, just be still. That's when he has spoken the most to me. And my entire walk with him was when I was still and quiet.
and actually listen to what he had to say. So those are the three ways that I argue well, that I struggle well with God.
Ruth Hovsepian (13:23.391)
Yeah, be still and know that I am God. And and I I love to, to, well, it took me time to put that into practice. Because I'm a naturally, you know, like I am an argumentative person when it comes to things that I don't understand and want to understand. And it's not that I want necessarily my point to be right. I just want that given takes.
Sherrie Pilkington (13:26.574)
Yes.
Ruth Hovsepian (13:53.183)
I can understand something. And when I was growing in my prayer life, because I went through this journey, growing up in an evangelical, going to church family, prayer was encouraged, go and pray, to the point where when I was really young, if I went to bed and was falling asleep and realized I hadn't prayed,
I would jump out of bed, say my prayer because I was afraid that I would die and go to hell. So, you know, that, that was what I, what had been instilled in my heart, right or wrong. That's what had been. And then going through those difficult times. And as you said, we all lose something that our identity is wrapped around. My identity had been wrapped around for a long time.
around my career, my success at, you know, being a high school graduate, but making it all the way up here and being married, having children, the wrong things, my identity was wrapped around. And when I started to lose those, for whatever reason, I lost myself. My, right, that identity, that...
instead of basing my identity on Jesus Christ. I based it on all of these earthly things. So when I went through my recovery and was going through this journey of recovery and healing, prayer was my go -to. It was what instinctively I went to because it was a secret recovery, right, from addiction.
Who could you share about this addiction that I had? And I realized over a period of time that my style of prayer was not gonna cut it because I was just vomiting words. Just, you know, just, goodness me, Shari, I tell you, it was just because I had no one to talk to, right? Who would understand?
Sherrie Pilkington (16:03.278)
I've been there.
Ruth Hovsepian (16:14.623)
a pastor's kid, somebody who had church leadership, being addicted to sex and pornography. Good grief, right? Who do you talk to? So I literally vomited in my prayers these words, not making any sense. But with that, I believe that God is so omnipotent and my goodness.
Sherrie Pilkington (16:25.582)
Yeah.
Ruth Hovsepian (16:43.299)
showing me what to do and my prayers slowly changed. My prayers became, have become intentional. I mean, we pray throughout the day, right? We're constantly praying, but I've come, I've implemented intentional prayer into my life. I make the time. We never have time. Do you have time? We all.
Sherrie Pilkington (16:57.614)
Yeah.
Sherrie Pilkington (17:12.206)
No. No.
Ruth Hovsepian (17:13.119)
We're all busy with life, right? So I've become very intentional and I said, no, I'm going to make time for prayer, just like I do everything else. So those were sort of my first steps. And then what came was, all right, Ruth, great, you're praying intentionally. But when are you stopping and listening?
Sherrie Pilkington (17:16.014)
You're right.
Ruth Hovsepian (17:42.207)
That was hard. That was hard. That was really, really hard. Yeah. yeah.
Sherrie Pilkington (17:45.742)
It's still hard today. It's still hard today for me to actually intentionally stop and listen.
Ruth Hovsepian (17:50.815)
Yeah, I agree with you. It is hard. It's easier to, to just say, unload everything on my heart to the Lord. But it's a two way conversation. That's what I believe prayer is. A two sided conversation. And I pray and I need to be still. And sometimes it's a season of waiting.
Sherrie Pilkington (18:19.854)
I think it becomes a spiritual discipline too, because it is too easy to have your mind wander off or what I'm challenged with. And so to continually like discipline yourself, like, okay, let me stop thinking about the groceries, come back to my time with the Lord, you know, and then I'm over here on the grocery list. Nope, nope, nope. Come back to the exchange with the Lord.
Ruth Hovsepian (18:23.455)
Hmm.
Ruth Hovsepian (18:32.351)
I like that.
Ruth Hovsepian (18:38.239)
I like that. Thank you for for saying that, Sherrie . I love that. Thank you for pointing that out. Yeah. I it's it's just it is difficult, especially when we're going through difficult times, loss, pain, not understanding why the why and then sort of coming to terms with the why.
Sherrie Pilkington (18:44.49)
Yeah.
Ruth Hovsepian (19:06.495)
And then it's like, what next, Lord?
Sherrie Pilkington (19:08.686)
Yeah. Yeah.
I think, yeah, because I think, I wonder if, I should say, I wonder if, is there a point in believers' lives where when life is happening and it gets very difficult and very painful, and the question or the challenge for us and maybe the question from the Lord is, Sherri, if you don't get what you want like you want it, will you still love me? Because one of the, yeah, will you still love me if you don't get what you want? So, because.
Ruth Hovsepian (19:12.959)
Where do we go?
Ruth Hovsepian (19:36.991)
Sherrie Pilkington (19:42.83)
I think for me, the challenge in walking out this deeply painful experience from a God I trusted, because as a believer, I had a framework with which to question God about his nature and his character. I took the scriptures and I said, your word says, you know, it will not come near your tent. Well, Lord, it came in my tent. It blew up in my tent. You know, what what is that about? And so in in discovering.
Ruth Hovsepian (19:56.799)
Mmm.
Sherrie Pilkington (20:12.302)
or here's the thing, I was in the process of, didn't know it at the time, discovering who he really is versus who I thought he was or who I wanted him to be. And that's scary because it starts to dismantle things that I had, lens that I had created to look at life through based on my experiences and my limited knowledge. Granted, yes, but when that stuff starts shaking and cracking even more so than your...
like the loss of my husband. Now everything that was at least somewhat intact, now that's being uprooted as well. But I will say there is some, there's some beautiful things about the Lord yet to be discovered. And I believe in my heart that he saves some of his most precious secrets. And I don't mean like I know a secret you don't know because I think that he reveals himself to everyone in a unique way, the way he created us, but it would never contradict his nature or his character.
Ruth Hovsepian (20:59.839)
Mm -hmm.
Sherrie Pilkington (21:08.942)
But so I'm not saying I know something exclusive that anyone else knows, but it was a secret to me. It was a revelation for me. So in these dark places of deep pain and when you are still and you are quiet, he reveals things about himself that you are not going to discover or know in any other context. And that's what he did for me. I remember one time I was just talking to him about, okay, Lord, you know, you stripped away, you stripped away talking about identity. You stripped away my title of wife.
And now I got a big fat label, widow on my forehead. What does that even mean? How do you, I'm not single, but I'm not married. What does that even mean? And he said to me, spoken to my spirit, and he said, Sherri, I don't care what this world tries to label you with, put on you, burden you with. He said, you keep your eyes on me because I am writing a much bigger love story with you, an overarching love story to, for you, you and I, like as the individual I created you to be.
And so I was like, well, how can you argue with that? my gosh, Lord. There's so much more going on.
Ruth Hovsepian (22:11.167)
my goodness, I am so glad you said this because I had to come to terms with that as well. My identity, like when I was, I don't know, young, if someone asked me, what do you want to be? My first thought was I want to be the best wife out there. And then second came a mother. I got divorced. Well, who was I now? I'm divorced. I'm not a wife.
Sherrie Pilkington (22:37.742)
right.
Ruth Hovsepian (22:41.087)
I'm not single, as you said, right? According to some and how you look at it. And I did not know who I was. And it took time for me to understand that I am greater than all of those labels because I'm not walking alone. I'm walking with the Lord and my identity is the Lord.
Sherrie Pilkington (22:41.23)
Yeah.
Sherrie Pilkington (22:46.542)
Yeah.
Ruth Hovsepian (23:09.887)
In my pain, he was with me. I may have not seen it, but he was there. In this time, I'm not alone. I'm asked all the time, are you not lonely? Do you get asked that?
Sherrie Pilkington (23:25.166)
I do, a lot of people ask me, are you dating yet? And I'm like, you know what? I'm so content. I want nothing and I need nothing. So it's not that I'm not opposed to it, but I'm not looking for it. I don't need it. If the Lord brings it to me, he's gonna bring it to me. I'm not looking for it.
Ruth Hovsepian (23:27.679)
Yes.
Ruth Hovsepian (23:37.279)
Right. Amen. Amen. I agree with you. I need to agree with you on that one because I haven't dated in over 10 years now.
I'm at peace. I have joy. I have satisfaction. It's just the most
Sherrie Pilkington (23:52.91)
Yeah.
Ruth Hovsepian (24:00.319)
Awesome feeling. And I, this is not me. This is not the world. It truly is because we are not alone. We are in the presence of the almighty. And he does give you the contentment and not contentment as the world sees it, right? Because the world is going to say, you're just content with what, yeah, what you're just going to go along with this, do something more. But.
I truly wake up in the morning, even during the most difficult times, whether it's financial or something happening in the family, I truly still wake up with a peace. Isn't that strange? How do you explain that to the world? I have joy. I have peace, even during the most difficult of days.
Sherrie Pilkington (24:47.022)
Yeah.
Sherrie Pilkington (24:54.926)
when after, because it's been six years, it was six years this past February, and each year, that direct, the pressure, the pain of the immediate hit eases. I won't say it goes away, I have my moments where I'm just weeping about it, it comes back, but not in the, not, I won't say sometimes the intensity's pretty bad, but not consistently every day, just, you know, you're tore up about it. Pardon me. And,
What was I going to say? I hope you can edit this out because I just forgot what I was getting ready to say. Darn it.
Ruth Hovsepian (25:26.591)
about contentment of not being alone.
Sherrie Pilkington (25:29.038)
yeah, about being content. But the Lord is just his the way that he cared for me during the time of the first three years for sure, and the way he still continues to me cares for me in the beauty of him showing up consistently provider, care, you know, caregiver, attended to me so beautifully. I when COVID hit because the
My husband passed early 2018. When COVID came about in early 2020, I was like, okay, I mean, whatever Lord, either you'll take me home on COVID or you'll, and I get COVID, you'll heal me. I was content knowing that whatever he had written in his book for me for that day would be enough, whether I was with him or whether I was still here.
Ruth Hovsepian (26:21.983)
I think that is, you know, if anyone asks us, and I think I can say the same about you. When you've been through some difficult times, life threatening or life changing times, when other difficulties come, I think I know we are prepared to go ahead and, you know, like straight into it.
into the eye of the storm. I think we are ready to deal and tackle the difficult times. And that is the plus of having gone. If you want to look at positives and negatives, that is the positive of it, right? I've been through all of this over here. Well, I'm not afraid of this anymore because I know with surety that the Lord is with me.
Sherrie Pilkington (27:15.438)
No.
Sherrie Pilkington (27:19.502)
Yes, yes, he's gonna, he's already, look what he's done, how he's handled things. And then the world comes at you with something else and you're like, well, he's gonna help me walk right through the middle of it again. And he's gonna, cause I don't know of any other deity that will take you by the hand and walk you right through the middle of your pain and say, I'm not afraid, let's go, I'll show you. He rests with you when you rest, he moves you forward when he can see you're ready to move forward. It's an intimate, really a beautiful place to be.
Ruth Hovsepian (27:21.979)
Yeah. That's what it is.
Ruth Hovsepian (27:33.631)
this.
Amen.
Ruth Hovsepian (27:48.767)
And no two relationships are the same. He knows your what Sherrie needs. He knows what Ruth needs. He will be there for us where we need him. It's not, it's not cookie cutter. As we said, it's not a cookie cutter thing. Tell, tell our listeners today if they are struggling.
Sherrie Pilkington (28:09.358)
No, you're right.
Ruth Hovsepian (28:18.239)
with a difficult time, a dark time, where they feel that they have no one to share with, or they're dealing with this very difficult time alone.
What is their assurance that they are not?
Sherrie Pilkington (28:39.246)
I would say it's gonna be in the conversations with God. It's gonna be in the intimacy of being vulnerable and transparent with the Lord. It's not like he doesn't already know what your heart is struggling with. It's not like he doesn't already know your past and how it contributes to where you're at today and the struggle and the pain. Because for me, when my husband passed away, I have childhood traumas like abandonment, rejection, things like that. So when my husband passed away,
All of that, all the unhealed parts came flowing in. So it shows up with this hot ball of mess, you know, just twisted up. But the Lord gently and tenderly sorted through each one of it. Because when I would unload my pain and anguish to him, he would peel away things to show me the fear that that was based on. And then in that fear, I could apply, because I already know the scriptures, I could apply a scripture.
to that fear and rewrite that. And God showed himself faithful as he gently, Satan was having fun saying, remember back in the day, it's just like here today, you didn't get, you know, he abandoned you when, but the reality is, you know, if my husband was gonna abandon me, he would have divorced me, not dad. So, but nonetheless, that's kind of the mental games that Satan wants to bring up and play with you. But when you give it to God and put it out, give it to the light.
bring it to the light and bring that pain and that anguish to him and let him speak into those places. He will dismantle those fears. He will replace it with his love and affection. I think something about Jesus, the Lord, Holy Spirit, God, I describe him as good and kind and they are way too simple of a word for someone so sovereign and yet,
If you go into underneath the level of good and kind, you find such incredible depth of good and kind that you can't even describe it. All you can still come back to is good and kind. But yet, and I think that's how God confounds the wise is because he looks too simple sometimes. But if you do not spend the time engaging his heart and trusting him with your pain, you will never see beyond just the simple words of good and kind.
Ruth Hovsepian (30:36.351)
Mm.
Ruth Hovsepian (30:52.895)
Sherrie , thank you so much for sharing your story with us today. It's a wonderful reminder for us that we are, we're never alone in our struggles in our lives.
Sherrie Pilkington (31:04.494)
No.
Ruth Hovsepian (31:07.327)
So thank you for sharing for our listeners. Make sure to check out the show notes for more information about Sherrie . How go and listen to her podcast, go to her website. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe to out of the darkness with Ruth Huffsepian and leave a review. Your support helps us bring more uplifting stories to those who need them. I thank you for tuning in.
Until next time, stay blessed and keep shining your light.