When the pressures of today's world weigh heavily on the family unit, it takes wisdom and courage to steer through the storm. I had the privilege of conversing with Cheryl Lutz, a speaker and biblical counselor, and together, we unpacked the pivotal role of parents in fortifying their children against the tides of societal influence. Whether your family is navigating the waters of homeschooling, public, or private education, this episode offers invaluable guidance on aligning family strategies with biblical principles to combat the allure of false security that some educational environments might project.
The dance between faith and parenting is intricate and delicate, especially for families at the helm of church leadership. Cheryl and I examine the personal faith journey, underscoring the importance of cultivating one's relationship with God beyond inherited beliefs. We peel back the layers of the unique obstacles pastor's families face, from the magnified scrutiny to the siren song of people-pleasing, highlighting the need for a community that extends grace and uplifts through prayer. This episode serves as a candid reflection on the challenges and triumphs of raising a family in faith amidst a digitally driven society.
In our search for a haven within church walls, we draw inspiration from the historic unity of Roman soldiers to illustrate the strength found in Christian camaraderie. I emphasize the duty of church leaders to nurture a culture where tough conversations can be had with humility and honest dialogue. Addressing the struggles that young people confront, such as drug use and same-sex attraction, this discussion champions the church's role in offering a compassionate embrace rather than judgment, ensuring a sanctuary where every soul is guided and supported in their spiritual journey. Join us for a heartfelt exchange that empowers families to anchor their loved ones in faith and community.
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When the pressures of today's world weigh heavily on the family unit, it takes wisdom and courage to steer through the storm. I had the privilege of conversing with Cheryl Lutz, a speaker and biblical counselor, and together, we unpacked the pivotal role of parents in fortifying their children against the tides of societal influence. Whether your family is navigating the waters of homeschooling, public, or private education, this episode offers invaluable guidance on aligning family strategies with biblical principles to combat the allure of false security that some educational environments might project.
The dance between faith and parenting is intricate and delicate, especially for families at the helm of church leadership. Cheryl and I examine the personal faith journey, underscoring the importance of cultivating one's relationship with God beyond inherited beliefs. We peel back the layers of the unique obstacles pastor's families face, from the magnified scrutiny to the siren song of people-pleasing, highlighting the need for a community that extends grace and uplifts through prayer. This episode serves as a candid reflection on the challenges and triumphs of raising a family in faith amidst a digitally driven society.
In our search for a haven within church walls, we draw inspiration from the historic unity of Roman soldiers to illustrate the strength found in Christian camaraderie. I emphasize the duty of church leaders to nurture a culture where tough conversations can be had with humility and honest dialogue. Addressing the struggles that young people confront, such as drug use and same-sex attraction, this discussion champions the church's role in offering a compassionate embrace rather than judgment, ensuring a sanctuary where every soul is guided and supported in their spiritual journey. Join us for a heartfelt exchange that empowers families to anchor their loved ones in faith and community.
✔Website - www.CherylLutz.com
✔Instagram - @CherylLutz_SecurelyHeld
✔Facebook - @Cheryl Lutz, Speaker/Author, Securely Held Ministries
✔LinkedIn - @Cheryl Lutz, Inspirational Speaker
✔Podcast - Secure in God’s Embrace, With Cheryl Lutz
To buy me a cup of coffee https://www.buymeacoffee.com/infoQGg
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✔Website - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/
✔Podcast - https://outofthedarknesswithruthhovsepian.buzzsprout.com/
✔Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ruthhovsepian/
✔Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ModernDayRuthRedeemed/
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00:17 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Welcome to Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian. Today my guest is Cheryl Lutz, and she is an inspirational speaker, certified biblical counselor, bible teacher, retired pastor's wife if a pastor ever retires and a recovering people pleaser. Her passion is in helping women break the power of other people's opinions and rest securely in God's embrace. And actually we're talking about the full-on attack that the world and society, the enemy, has launched against the family unit and the battle young families must and the battle that we have with young families to be proactive to defend our children, so welcome.
01:04 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Cheryl. Thank you, ruth. Thank you so much for having me. This is a deep subject and we just trust the Holy Spirit's here to guide us, and it's a privilege to be here with you.
01:17 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Amen, I know that this is a very tough subject and we have older children and you're actually a grandma and I love that for you and I know that actually I don't mean me, but only to pets. I don't know I misread that. I really thought you were. That's so funny, all good.
01:44
Honestly anyway, you know, it doesn't matter how old our children are. Right, we, we really are concerned about our children. You know, and I know that, raising three children, the concern was always there. And you know my youngest is 27, almost. So you know, this whole other generation of kids right behind them have it even harder to, you know, to deal with what society I mean. Look at the last five or six years. Yeah, so much the turmoil we are seeing it.
02:26
I you know, cheryl, you know a bit of my history. I've seen a lot, I've experienced a lot and I still blush when I see some things and I hear some things. It's a very difficult situation. I don't know what's going to happen to the, you know, to the generations that are coming.
02:50 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
The only hope is Christ and the power of God's word to turn this ship around. Ruth, right, yeah.
03:01 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I don't know. You know I I speak to a lot, I'm sure you do to speak to young women with young children, and I see and recognize this.
03:13
It's, it's a fear, but it's a different type of fear. It's, it's a fear of the unknown, right, it sits at the back of their, their brain and, you know, sort of starts to brew as to how can I protect my children? What can I do? And those that are not homeschooling? Right, because we still have a lot of Christian families and faith based families that don't homeschool. Sure, what do we do to protect our children to? Or, okay, maybe we can't protect them?
03:48
But, how do we, how do we give them the tools, the skill sets on how to deal? How do how, what do you do?
04:00 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes, and these are great questions, and you mentioned the different types of schooling. As we get to the answers we're looking for, I did homeschool all four of ours. We only of protection, just automatically, because you're doing this thing, you know you're following this formula that's going to. We made a lot of assumptions. We were, we were resting on a system to protect our kids, you know and they're you know, or making an assumption oh, this is another homeschooling family, therefore they have the same. Yeah, I mean, we made so many mistakes like that, you know. So, whatever, wherever God has led the listener, whether it's a public school, a private Christian school, a home school, we have to use the same tools in God's word, and we've got to communicate and prepare our children for the world, no matter what group they're in.
05:30 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
So what I'm hearing is that parents, no matter what choices they make in the education of their children, need to be diligent and need to be on their toes. I know there is that we assume that children that are homeschooled or in private Christian schools that they won't be faced with the challenges, the visuals, the music. In some instances, pregnancy numbers are higher because, unfortunately and this falls on the parents, for whatever reason they just assume that their kids will say no and it doesn't work that right. Yeah, kids are kids, we have the same we have. You know, just because I'm a believer does not mean I don't have the same desires and needs, and I think that is what we need. And you know, my, my advice has always been to parents first of all, as a, as a, the mother and father, the head of the house. You need to come in agreement on these matters.
06:52
Now I we have different experiences, in that I was a single mom and. I had to make those decisions on my own and I don't know if it was easier, because there was just my viewpoint, but I tell you it was. It was hard and sometimes I felt, oh I'm I'm way too strict. But I don't regret the choices I've made.
07:17 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
I don't know.
07:17 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
It's. I don't know how did you guys deal with things that came up, Because your kids are older as well.
07:25 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
They are deal with it. Yes, you know, I just, ruth, I wish we had done more on the front end as far as preparing them for these things that were going to come in, instead of assuming because we're doing, they're in youth group and they're being homes, homeschooled, and they're in church every week and we're having family devotions that were somehow immune to these things, which is really stupid, because they're sinners, we're sinners, they're sin or sin and as we talk, you know, people have said god was the perfect parent, adam and eve and eve were in this beautiful, perfect setting.
08:14 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
And what happened? Oh goodness, I'm glad you said that. I've never thought about that.
08:19
Hold on a moment, cheryl, I gotta think that it's not original with me, but yeah, oh, my goodness, oh wait, I got goosebumps when you said that you know I have. You know, you said that you want you will. You wished you had been prepared coming out of the gate. I wish to. You know, I look back as well and I know we can't redo it and no, that's, that's not what life is about. But we are sharing experiences and you know, as a single mom, as a mom that went through a divorce, when the children were young and then my, my, stepping away from my faith and living a life of my own for over 15 years, living a life of sin.
09:07
That's how we'll put it right A life of sin, not following anything that the you know I had been taught as a youngster and as a young adult I do have regrets and and even though I because I knew so much about the world, and more than I should I always tried to give my children the wisdom that they needed to deal with. And not necessarily, you know, like that they were smart. It was just they knew how to handle certain situations.
10:10
But as a mother now walking in faith with adult children, I do look back and say I wonder if I had taken time to sit and pray with my children would their decision making and would their choices in life be different? Now again, I want the listeners to understand I'm not. I'm not trying to second guess things, I'm not. I know, you know I can't change what happened, but I say this because I want parents to be aware of of how our actions do have a direct influence on our children.
10:38 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes, yes, it's, it's that both and and I talk about these things. I mean, I lived in a pit of guilt and shame for a long time and that was the enemy that wanted me to stay in that pit of guilt and shame for our parenting mistakes or things. We missed these things. And Jesus died on the cross not only for our sin. He took our shame. So why are we carrying that around? You know he wants us to release that. I'm totally forgiven and so I'm not coming at this from a shame. This is all my fault. You know that healing has come, but I want to help those coming behind me and I know you feel the same way those coming behind me, and I know you feel the same way. Are there things you can do to help prevent some of the things that we've dealt with from happening to your family? You may not be able to. Like I said, god was the perfect parent.
11:37 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
You know, yeah, you've given me food for thought on that one. I like that thought, yeah, yeah, and even you know, even you know if I think if I had maybe done all of that again. These are individuals, they are adults and they will make their own choices Now when they're young.
11:57
We can help them a lot more with those decisions In some instances you make the decision for them, because you just kind of pull them out of a situation and say, yeah, no more, you're not going there. That home, that family, that event is not for you. But I think there comes a time, just like we did Right, we made choices as adults that our adult children make those choices as well. So, yes, you're right, you know we can just set them up and teach them and allow the. The rest of it has to be their, their choice to do that.
12:34 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yeah, billy Graham once said you know, god has no grandchildren. They have to make that faith their own. They can't hold on to the, the hymn of our garment or whatever to get in, you know, and at the end of the day, all the mistakes, the things we did right, the things we did wrong, at the end of the day salvation is of the Lord.
13:00 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah.
13:01 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
I, I walk yeah.
13:04 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I I walk the faith of my parents and not my own faith for a long time, and that comes with maturity to understand that you need to walk your own journey in faith.
13:20
And, yeah, I agree with you with what you are saying. Yeah, I agree with you with what you are saying. And I think the other thing that has been very difficult and it is for many parents is quieting the opinions of others and of how they make choices and what decisions they make for their own families. I think that is a lot of pressure on young families.
13:49 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes, ruth, with the internet now and Pinterest, you know we talk about Pinterest perfect. I am so grateful I didn't have Pinterest when my kids were little. Looking at you know, sally Jo's birthday party and all the money and the time and the beauty, and then you're like you, automatically. You look at it and you feel like a failure.
14:13
You know so these young families, I do, and so just breaking that power of other people's opinions, whether it's in how you throw a birthday party to you know what form of discipline you carry out the rules in your family, god, your children, have been entrusted to you. You know, not your neighbor, not the other person in the church family, and we can counsel with one another, but at the end of the day, we're the ones responsible and if they think we're doing it wrong, we've got to let that go If we're seeking the Lord and have asked him. You know and I parented from a place of people pleasing and just that paranoia, being in the ministry, you know, and being the pastor and his wife, and I know you come from a pastor's- home.
15:09 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I'm a PK.
15:10 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yeah, I'm a pastor's kid, you know, and one of the you know things. We would do so much pressure, not only from the people, but we put on our kids, you know, and that's it's not right and letting that go All right. So they ask us to leave because we're parenting wrong. Fine, at the end of the day, our home is bigger, more important than these other things.
15:40 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah you know, I think that there's such a misunderstanding, even today, in the 21st century, of the leadership's family and, yes, I know that the Bible says that. You know, the deacons, the elders, the leadership, need to have their families in order. Now, I think they put the cart before the horse, because you need it. It's not that they are perfect, it's the type of leadership that you are showing.
16:21
And I tell you, as the child of a pastor, and you know, even though my dad became a pastor only when I was in my mid to late teens, I still grew up in a under the magnifying glass, because my, my extended family and my parents were very heavily involved in the church and and there was a lot of pressure and look, I love my parents to death and they raised me the best that they knew how, and I don't point a finger, but growing up under that type of a magnifying glass where everybody looked and hearing constantly what are people going to say?
17:09
Because I was one of those children that questioned. Now, you know you can have four children and each one reacts differently to this pressure. I was a questioner, you know why. Why this? And if I didn't, you know, if I didn't rebel, you know very openly I would have rebelled quietly on the side and nobody knew. But I've always heard this and you know it still follows me because we're human. This and you know it still follows me because we're human and it follows me when I really care about the opinion of others, and even as a parent.
17:45
when I became a parent, I would make decisions for my children based solely on what I thought other people would say not because it was right for my family, and that is doing a disservice to how the Lord, I believe, wants us to raise our children Absolutely. And and we, I think we need to have so much grace for the families of our pastors, of our elders, our leadership, and come alongside those families and, rather than pointing a finger and being accusatory say how can I help?
18:28 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Can.
18:28 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I pray for you, or or is there something I can do, Because it's not easy. It's not easy to be the parent, the pastor. It's not hard. It's not easy to be the, the parent, the pastor, it's not hard. It's hard to be the wife, as you were. It's hard to be the child. I can't, you know it's. It is a very difficult, difficult situation.
18:50 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes, yes, and just like you said, give those listening give grace. And as we're talking about spiritual warfare, those listening give grace. And as we're talking about spiritual warfare, it's like you're on the front lines. When you're the pastor and the wife and the kids, you're just right there in the front and the spiritual warfare, the attacks are just intense. And so, yes, we have our own sin. I'm not blaming it on the devil by any means, yeah, 100%, it's both.
19:23
But, like you said, what are you doing to pray for the spiritual protection of your pastor and his wife and their kids and the blood of Jesus over their home, as you do? You know the rest of the church and those listening. Maybe you're not the pastor, maybe you're not the elder or deacon. Your family's under attack too, because you have the sea. You're a Christian, you're a Christ follower, so those arrows are flying and again, praying. You know the blood of Jesus having others come alongside and it's like how do you recognize?
20:01
Sometimes you know when it's just the sin flesh, with of your kids acting out, but when there are those times when things are just so bizarre and they just don't make sense, that's when you know, wait a minute, there's something bigger going on here and we got to call in reinforcements. We need, we need people doing battle with us. We are, we are in a spiritual battle right here and we need help. You know, instead of being embarrassed and hiding and trying to do it ourselves, um, or do it in the flesh, when we and I have disciplined in the flesh, god has forgiven. But when we discipline in the flesh, it's just. It just sets everything on fire.
20:49 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
You know, we've I really isolated ourselves as family units you know, and part of it has to do because we are ashamed or not ashamed but we are concerned about the opinion of others or or the lash back of our parenting style.
21:06
You know, maybe it doesn't match up to what they think is correct, but it is part of it has. I really do believe it has to do because families have become very insolent, like isolated and insulated. Right, they're just their own little unit over here, they're part of a church but yet they hold people off. You know it's sort of like, yeah, come close, we need the fellowship, but you stay over there, stay in your lane, and I think that when we do this and you know, sort of as a church family, you know, I think that is where we see difference. We see the power that in numbers, we, we are encouraging young mothers and young fathers in this whole journey where we don't know. I've always said I wish my children came with, each of them with their own manual, because I have three kids. All three were raised in the same way but they turned out differently right, different ways and different issues.
22:22
And we're all like that. We're so unique, absolutely.
22:26
You know what would you say and I don't want the. You know we can always give advice to young you know couples prior to having their children and help them set up. But what about those families where they already have children? They're right smack in the middle of this warfare that we're seeing. You know society is saying you know children, you have power over your parents. You can call the the. You know. I don't know what it is in the US, but you know you can call in the cops. You can call social services and I think it's child services in the US where they come in and or you know the school has right, you know, above yours.
23:11
Yes over your children. What do we say? What would you say to these parents who are struggling and fighting and thinking that how do I get a grip on this whole?
23:26 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
situation Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Like you said earlier, ruth, you know, in the animal kingdom it's the one who wanders from the herd that gets devoured. And so we've got to have that safe community and that we are in this together. You know, and the old Roman you know the armor of God and the old Roman shields. It was huge, and not only to protect against the arrows but also to push back. And then it talked about the, at times, the soldiers just forming that alliance and they all have their shields up together, you know, to push back against the enemy and against the world and the flesh. And that's, that's the only answer right now God, his word, and that safe community doing this battle together.
24:27
We were created for community and some of us, our deepest hurts have come from the church, from community. You know it. Just, it is what it is. But our greatest healing can come from that same community, because it's God's design and he, the church he's building, his church. The gates of hell will not prevail against it. And if you're in a community raising your kids, whether you're the pastor, whether you're a member of the church, if it is not a safe place, if it's a place of judgment and condemnation and sweeping sins of the elders under the rug but yet slamming, you know, teenagers, you're going to have to remove yourself and ask the Lord find us a safe Christian community, and he will sometimes it takes time and it's scary to leave, to leave you know a church or these different things.
25:32
But when he says go, go and he will raise that up because all communities are not safe.
25:42 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
No, and not all communities will. And I like this analogy that you gave. You know, with the shield, you know the armor of God, you put up a wall, you know, and for anyone that watches, you know period pieces, movies you see the soldiers building a wall with those shields. It wasn't each soldier on their own when they wanted to protect, they built a wall, you know, and they would make a box with the soldiers. And I love that analogy because that's what we're looking for and that's what this church family should be like.
26:23
And sometimes I agree with you, sometimes we just need to step back and take a look and evaluate if the church that we're in is that protective haven whether it's for us, for our faith journey, our children, it's, it's it.
26:43
These are decisions. That's part of our decisions as parents that we need to make is what are we doing? How? You know, yeah, you're right, church hurt, church trauma is, you know, it's not enough that we have the world. You know, we were also now inundated and we're hearing of churches and leadership that the damage that they're causing not only to the family of God as a whole, right as who we really are, you know those bad apples, but they're causing such harm and destroying lives of so many people. It's, it's. We really need to be awakened. You know, I, I, I could become very, very passionate about the fact that I want everyone, everyone, to know the word of God for themselves. Yes, get to know it at such a personal level so that when they come across or experience something, they will able to know that what is being taught or what they are experiencing is wrong.
28:11 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes, amen. And if you're in a situation where the pastor or the leadership is not encouraging you to ask questions, to read and study for yourself, then those are red flags. Those are red flags and you've got to protect not only your own soul, heart and soul. You've got to protect your children. Their souls are pliable, you know pliable they're, they're, they're. They haven't developed fully and we've got to to protect them.
28:46
And, um again, pray for that safe community. And when it, there's a reason. This is not our home. Perfect community, perfect fellowship, that is for heaven. As long as I'm a member of a church, there's going to be problems because I'm a sinner, so don't be expecting this perfect utopia here.
29:11
But you know that measure of humility among the leadership and a love for God's word, a love for God's people and that desire to see us all, like you said in the word for ourselves, feeding our souls and coming alongside each other, sometimes challenging and rebuking, sometimes just saying, sister, brother, let me help you.
29:35
I see you are, you are really hurting. You know, with your kids right now. You know your teenagers getting into drugs. You know your, your daughter, is wrestling with same sex attraction instead of just, you know, holding up the like their demonic cross, or what you know like right, right, come in there. How can we come alongside and pray with you and talk through this? Because some of these things Ruth, the LBGTQ we didn't have that so strongly when we were raising our kids, and we made a lot of mistakes in not just coming in, though, and we've got to talk about these things in the church. Kids that are wrestling with same-sex attraction we need to come in and talk to them about it. Don't just beat them over the head with the Word of God, draw them out.
30:34 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Love them, help them, you know, as, as someone who, so I'm very open about my past and my story and I was a sex addict and a porn addict.
30:48
Yeah, we don't talk about it. No, certain things are sin and and we, you know, we point about same sex attraction. We, you know, about all the things that we are hearing about today we do not talk about that heterosexual sex outside of God's beautiful given reason for that this sex is wrong, is sinful, and what we do is we make these young people we're talking about children today, but you know it could be anyone, even adults. You know the 40 something year old woman or man sitting in the pew that doesn't know how to deal with it because they have this attraction and they know that it's again, why can we not talk about this? Because a sin is a sin.
31:43
Yes, stop with this picking and choosing which sins we are going to get on our soapbox about. I think that that man who is having sexual relations with another woman who is not his wife is just as much in sin as that poor man on the other side of the church who has other feelings for other men. Why do? Yeah, I get very, it just gets me boiling because I was in that situation where they, they picked at my sin because they didn't know how to deal with it. You know, when I got divorced, that was oh my goodness, it was the you know short of wearing. You know the scarlet letter.
32:41 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yeah.
32:42 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
It was horrible, horrible, and I'm telling this because if we have children who are experiencing this and don't have the understanding of what sin is, how do we expect them to make the right choices? Exactly, and you know, you said something about you know coming alongside these families and supporting them.
33:12
Said something about you know coming alongside these families and supporting them If you're not involved in a church family and in the church community, you will not recognize the family as having an issue or being able to step up and say you won't have that relationship either with them, where you feel comfortable enough to say you know, I'm seeing so and so struggling with this. Can we pray about it with you? Can we come alongside you and support you? The only way we know, short of them sharing it with you, is if you are, if you are developing this relationship with other people.
33:54 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes, we've got to get real with one another. Got to get real about our struggles. Ruth, you know that we have an adult son who struggled with alcoholism and it took me a long time to talk about that. And I was at a conference in 2020 and one of the leaders stood up and talked about when her son was in jail and almost went to prison and at that point it opened me up and gave me the freedom.
34:22
I was not playing, we were in the thick of it and I was not planning to say a word and I opened up and started sharing about it, got the prayer support and after I got home, I had two different women call from that conference. They were dealing with something very similar. So we can come alongside and pray for one another. And you know, um, we've got to get real, but it has to be safe community. You get real with some people and they're they, um, they, they pour salt in your wounds I don't know how else to say it. They kick you while you're down, yeah, and, and the other thing is well.
35:01 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I've been through this myself. You know, here's this person sharing something with you and now you're comparing it to something that you I mean there's a time and place for that. But I agree with you. You people need a safe place. And yeah, I yeah, since I've come out and openly said yeah, I was an alcoholic, I was a sex and porn addict.
35:25
It was a scary thing to admit sure you know and I I admitted it on the other side of my I was sober already, you know, about six, seven years when I really started talking about it and now I'm nine years sober. But I understand it is hard. You know, recently I was at a retreat. I was, I was speaking at a retreat and it was Beauty, for Ashes was their theme, and I had worked on what I was going to talk about and you know, I was just convicted that that was not what the Lord wanted.
36:02
And I changed it and, you know, became more vulnerable, which is very hard to do, especially, you know this. This retreat was for women in my community, in my, in my city.
36:15 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
It's a lot harder.
36:16 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, it's much harder, right, and some of them know my family, some of them know me, as you know, so it was very difficult, but I said, lord, if this is what you want me to do, I will be as transparent as I can, without you know, hurting anyone. And I have to say, cheryl, that the conversations that I had humbled me just humbled me Because, as you said, I had mothers coming to me in tears and crying and sharing things and asking for prayer, and I continue to pray for these families because it's it's not an easy time.
37:05
It's a very difficult time. Um, there are differences in the way that you know, parents raise their children. You know the mom and dad have different opinions. Extended family has different opinions. I think that you know this conversation really was to encourage parents that if you are struggling, you're not alone. Yes, as you said, find a safe haven. Find a safe, you know environment where you can share about what you, your family, are going through.
37:46 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes.
37:47 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
And we will come alongside you. Maybe we don't have the answers. I don't have all the answers.
37:53 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Cheryl.
37:55 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Everybody's so unique. Yes, maybe they have some of the same. You know addictions as I do, but we all have a different history. Therefore we experience it differently. But I know one thing that I certainly can do, and I know that you can do as well, and that is we pray for them.
38:13 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes.
38:14 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
And we pray for them and we're there to support them and help them and just love on them and be there for them.
38:23 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Yes, it's a part of it, as we talked earlier, ruth. What can we do with all that the family is being faced with? Yeah, you know, in a school, you know calling a girl a boy or a boy or girl I mean we didn't deal with that when our kids were in kindergarten or first grade or a puppy, or you know, it's so. It, you know. But bringing it into the light, whatever we're struggling with because I kept things in the darkness for so long because of shame and because of fear, because of the power of other people's opinions but bringing it into the light and exposing it to the power of christ, it's like the cockroaches they don't want to be in the light, the demons, they run 100%.
39:18
I agree with you 100% on that yeah.
39:21 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, cheryl, I want to thank you so much. I can keep talking with you about this.
39:25 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
I know we can't go on yeah.
39:27 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, I thank you so much that you came on here to talk about this. And, friends, let me remind you that you can get more information about Cheryl. She has an amazing book out there. She's got a podcast. Look on in the show notes and get all the information and follow her ministry along there. And let me remind you that your likes, your comments, your following, your subscribing to the podcast on your favorite streaming platform or YouTube makes a world of difference to getting the message out to others.
40:04
I ask you know, share this episode with your friends and family. Let's grow our community. And, as I said, check out the show notes for Cheryl's contact information. She's got a book called securely held. So I thank you, friends.
40:19 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
I thank you.
40:19 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Cheryl for being here. Thank you.
40:22 - Cheryl Lutz (Guest)
Ruth you.