Decluttering Self-Sabotage: A Conversation with DONNA SCOTT

Do you ever feel like you're standing in your own way, sabotaging your success and personal growth? Donna Scott, a speaker, author, and licensed marriage and family therapist joins me to discuss decluttering self-sabotage in our lives and how the pressures of being a pastor's daughter can carry into adult life. Together, we explore how an intense personal relationship with God led her to her calling as a speaker, author, and bible teacher and how God equips us to handle the pressures in our lives.

Donna and I discuss the many ways self-sabotage can manifest in our lives, such as perfectionism, pessimism, procrastination, disorganization, over-commitment, and burnout. We also talk about the importance of being cognizant and respectful of our own limitations and not feeling guilty when we aren't able to commit to certain tasks.


We touch on the stigma of therapy and how the Holy Spirit can help us along our healing journey. Finally, we discuss how God doesn't look at us with condemnation or disdain and how Jesus already paid the price for our sins. Even in our darkest moments, we can remember that the promise of eternity with Him is what awaits us.



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Chapters

• 0:00 Decluttering Self-Sabotage
• 11:44 Self-Sabotage
• 25:24 Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Seeking Help

Transcript

0:00:00
Identify your problem, identify the threat that your brain is trying to protect you from herding from. Number two, renew your mind. Romans twelve to because those threats kinda come from lies. So you've got to replace those lies with the truth of God's word, and that's exactly what we've been talking about. Mhmm. Right? Going back to God's word. What is god's truth? When we talk about impostive syndrome, I I how am I a bible teacher? I don't have a seminary degree, but there's a first enrollments where God says everything he calls you to do, he will enable and equip you. To do. Be in a speaker. The Lord sent us to a mentor on speaking. That's the equipping. That's what he said in his word that he will do for us. Hi. I'm Ruth Hovsepian? Welcome to the Out of The Darkness Podcast. Where we help you navigate life's trials based on faith and difficult truths.

0:01:20
Donna Scott is a speaker and author of the Tapestry of Trauma. Donna is also a licensed marriage and family therapist who combined her professional experience and training with compassion and insight from God's Word. With over thirty years of experience providing Christian counseling, Donna is passionate to help those with hurting hearts heal. As a speaker, Donna engages her listeners with her dynamic visual demonstrations and provides tangible, practical tools designed to improve relationships and quality of life. Her desire is to live a life worthy of the calling she has received from God. And Donna celebrates thirty five years of marriage with Ron and Dave praise God for their four blessings. Donna serves as a bible teacher and new member's counselor at the New Seasons Church in Spring Valley, California.

0:02:15
Welcome, Donna. I am happy to have you join me today on out of the darkness I'm excited to hear about your story and your ministry that you have going on today. So let's start off with a very simple question because it's all about you. Tell us a little bit about yourself. And how you got to where you are today? Hi, Ruth. Thank you so much for having me here. I'm looking forward to our time together. And sharing.

0:02:48
So I am a pastor's daughter, which led me into people telling me all about their problems when they couldn't get to my dad or my mom. And I thought, why not get paid for that? And so that led to me becoming a marriage and family therapist. But my heart of hearts is my walk with God. And how all the pains and struggles I went through, when I developed an intense personal relationship with him. Oh, and the love for God's word, that's where my heart is. Is spending that time with him and then sharing with others, hope and healing for their lives. So as a result of that, God has blessed me to be speaker, and he led me to write a book called the Tapestry of Trauma, transforming the tangles of childhood sexual abuse into God's masterpiece. All those are out of my comfort zone, but all of them speak to my heart and passion. To help Christian women know that God has a heart for their healing.

0:04:04
You know, I I think we have quite a few things in common, which we have discovered over the little, you know, like, when we first met each other. And one of them is being pastor's daughters. Yeah. And And I think the moment we we talk about that, all daughters of pastors or all children of pastors are like -- Yeah. -- you get me. You understand me. Right? Leave me. Yes. Yeah. We there there's something very different about it. And you know what? I I agree with you that being a pastor's daughter has some very it it's a blessing. It is. But It can also and I hate to use the word, but it can also be a curse for some young people -- Mhmm. -- because some people can some young people cannot deal. With the pressures of being the the children of the leaders of a church because we were treated differently. We are -- We are. -- Glass Bowl.

0:05:10
And I remember sitting in church and I was talking to somebody and the usher came over. And was like, you need to be quiet. You're the pastor's daughter. Yeah. And across the way where all these other teenagers chattering and nobody was talking to them. That kind of until one day the because and that that's the struggle. Right? The expectations are so unrealistic. But it wasn't until the holy spirit reminded me they're focusing on the wrong father. Yeah. Because If it's based on who your father is, I'm representing God, not pastor Farrell. And guess what? You need to be in the glass bubble too because you're not representing him well. And once guy gave me that shift, that's how he equipped me to handle the pressure of living in a a fishbowl. Yeah. And and sometimes we also I know for myself what have happened was I carried those pressures into adult life. Mhmm. And I remember you know, when I was going through my divorce that it was devastating for me, but also for my parents and for the church. Because the church took it upon itself to make a judgment on it. And, you know, like, that's history, but just to say that we sometimes carry things with us into our day to day lives. Absolutely. Yeah. It's it's just and you're right. We have to turn to God and we have to turn to him for guidance and for perspective on things -- Mhmm.

0:06:56
-- that I wanna talk a little bit about You you gave me a great title for this, and I really like it. So I'd love to dissect it a little bit today. And that is to declutter self sabotage. And what that means? Because I know what that means to me because I have sabotaged myself many times. And usually, before I've started to do something with negative talk, but I would love to hear from you your view on this.

0:07:30
Well, You know, spring is kind of the time for spring cleaning. Right? Mhmm. And so on my Facebook life, the Lord gave me the theme of spring cleaning for our heart. So spring cleaning for Christian healing. Because I wanted to know What holds us back from our healing? What holds us back from moving forward in our calling? Or in jobs or all these other things. And so the Lord gave me self sabotage. Is time to declutter your heart of self sabotage. Because self sabotage, is those things or those problems that develop that prevent you in your daily life of reaching the goal you have set for yourself. Mhmm.

0:08:25
And it's a real struggle and it's sometimes conscious. Most of the time is unconscious. And we're wondering how did we get derailed? How did we do this all over again? And sometimes we just are on rinse. What is that? WASH RINCE repeat? Or You know, let me Michael. Yeah. Yeah. We're on a repeat, you know.

0:08:48
And I I've done it. Like I said, you know, I've done this to myself many times. I can't do this because and I have a string of reasons that I give. So therefore, I don't even attempt or try or start. And to me yeah. And to me, that has been my fault. That thing that I have done in the last, you know, maybe eight years. And even now, you know, like -- Mhmm.

0:09:16
-- I'm talking about my testimony. I'm I'm, you know, speaking to other women, and I get that self sabotage moment of saying that Ruth, who are you? To lead and to how oh my goodness. Yeah. It's like It's it's just, you know, that the feeling unworthy of what God is giving you. And and just an example, yesterday, our in church, the pastor was speaking about the woman that they brought to Jesus in the book of John. And, you you know, he said, which one of you? Without sin will throw cast the first stone. Mhmm. And it touched me. I felt like he was speaking to me because I, many times, the closer I've gotten to the lord and the more -- Mhmm.

0:10:11
-- I've gotten into trying to tell others about salvation and, you know, handing things over, I have Satan coming at me with past yes. Yes. The chatter. The noise. The -- Yeah. -- that's what it is. You know? And and it is sometimes I'm I'm able to push it aside, but last week was a bit of a difficult one for me for different reasons. And this sermon yesterday really touched me and I said, Lord, you know, it was a conviction to me that We Not one of us is without sin. None. So I will step boldly into what god is leading me to do. So Yes. It was, you know, there was that aha moment, but -- Uh-huh. -- I know.

0:11:06
That you have or you can give us the signs of self sabotage -- Yeah. -- what those are. Well, you you gave one of the most glaring ones, Imposter syndrome. That sense of feeling like I'm a fraud. Who am I to do a podcast? Who am I to be a therapist? Who -- Yeah. -- am I to be a speaker? Oh my gosh. If they knew my life, nobody -- Yeah. -- nobody would wanna hear what I have to say. Right? So Yeah. There's like seven. So I'll go real quick.

0:11:44
Mhmm. Imposter syndrome. There is perfectionism. I have to get it perfect -- Yeah. -- because I'm otherwise, it's not not good enough, which perfectionism is a setup for a mess up. Because no one can do things perfectly. There's only one perfect person that was Christ. So perfectionism will cause self sabotage. Pessimism is another sign. Right? If you look for you pick apart everything that can go wrong. And oh, gosh. If I started podcast, no one will listen. Yeah. Right? That sense of Yeah. Because I won't have the right camera. I won't have the site. Yeah. Nobody A writing a book or writing a book. Right? Who's gonna ask? Who's gonna buy my book? It's gonna be yeah. It's gonna sit on the shelves. Oh, my father. Right? Exactly. How about this one? Procrastination. We put things off. Right? Oh, yes. I wanna go for that promotion and and this is big project due. And then I started two days before because I'm so scared of doing it. And then, of course, I don't get the promotion because it's not done well. Right.

0:13:07
Self sabotage, disorganized, how are you gonna find things if there's such chaos around your chaos in your home? That self sabotage. Over commitment oh my goodness. Saying yes to everything. Yeah. That that's a big one. And wow. Yeah. You know, those of us that are in the church will go pass to this one. Right? Because we wanna help out in every you know, like in every area, especially those of us that grew up in the church or our pastor's daughters -- Yeah. -- you know, those were asked to step in wherever there is a need. So you end up -- Yeah. -- you end up committing to everything but not doing anything. Well, The well. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. I I I think the lord helped me with that even though I still struggle with it.

0:14:03
When I went to beth more studies and she said, not everything everything is good to do. But not necessarily good for you to do it. Mhmm. Yes. Oh my goodness. That resonated in my heart because it's like if I don't do it, it won't get done.

0:14:23
And there was a season when I was in like you said, I still started. I was teaching Sunday school. I was teaching young adults. I was the choir director. I was in church six out of seven days. And one day, the Lord said, sit down. You are overdoing it. Get out of everything. And just like you said, that pressure, Instead of, hey, are you okay? I will miss you. It was your backsliding. You're sitting down on God. And that's why it's so important to have that relationship with him to do that. And then he told me, now I want you to do this. And I was able to do that well that position of developing a women's bible study -- Yeah. -- because I had released everything else.

0:15:07
So that was the self sabotage of over commitment, but over commitment then leads to the final self sabotage of burnout. You are stressed all the time. You don't have the energy. It affects your health. And that also prevents you. From reaching the goal that you had set for yourself. So if any of those, you know, if you are experiencing any of those pay attention, because that may be self sabotage happening in your life. You know, it's it's so interesting because you know, we we look around us sometimes and we think that we've compartmentalized everything perfectly -- Mhmm. -- and that we've got our careers in one area, our personal life in another area, Our church yeah. And we think we've got control over it. But when you go and you look at it from above, Yeah. And you you you see that you're not fulfilling anything to completion or not as well as you can do. Yeah.

0:16:18
And I think there's a season in our lives and talked about this with with other guests as well about you know, mothers who, you know, are guilted into taking on way too much. Now every mother is different Every child is different. Yeah. Therefore, I think we have to respect what we can and cannot do in certain like in different seasons of our lives. Right. And, you know, I I remember committing to doing things out of guilt rather than feeling that this is what I was being led to do when my children were young. Mhmm. And there was resentment because I was I was instead of giving to my children -- Yeah. -- I was giving to something half heartedly, you know, and I I think we just need to be cognizant of that, you know, when asking people to take something, you know, in the church.

0:17:17
You know, and respecting their answer. And I don't mean, you know, when people just feel that, you know, their they're they're too humble or they think that they're not equipped to do it. I think that's a different scenario. Yes. Yes. Yeah. But if somebody tells us that I just I just cannot manage it. We need to to respect that. Absolutely. And not take it personal and then not shame and blame them for not saying yes. Yeah. Right? That's that's a huge one.

0:17:49
You know, burnout is I think another area that we can talk about because Christians don't burn out, do they don't? We shouldn't. Right? Okay. I'm I'm I'm being yeah. You are. I'm just rotting.

0:18:11
This subject and this stick because I've been told that. No. Really? I know I threw that out of left field that you thought, hey. But I I've been told that. I don't know about you, but I've been told that you're a Christian. There is no such thing as burnout. You haven't taken it to the Lord. I mean. And when is the message again? You can do everything. What's the you can do all things through Christ's strength and see it. Okay.

0:18:41
Let's take that apart through Christ. Are you telling me the Christ? Who would heal so much and then walk away from a crowd. The Christ didn't stay until everybody was healed. That one? Or the Christ who would pull away early in the morning, so he could have his alone time with God. If people are looking for him, where are you? The Christ in the middle of a storm who said, I'm tired and I'm going to sleep. I'm not gonna help you bail the boat. Yeah. I need that Christ. Expects us to keep going nonstop even though he did not. Just that's it. I'm sorry. I just had to go there. Oh, yes. Do do it. I mean, preach it. I I I am for that, you know, and -- Yeah. -- I think that sometimes we just just don't see what is in front of us.

0:19:32
And I think that we just need to stop listening to what what is being said around this. What is being said on social media -- Yes. -- and and go back to the source of all the information that we need. Right? Go back to the word of God. And to me, I have I've been you know, I'm on my on my soapbox on this. Dig deep into the scriptures for yourself on a regular basis. Right? And study it because I love listening to, you know, podcasts or listening to sermons and, you know, doing bible studies -- Yeah. -- that my answers, I've I've come to realize at this ripe old age of fifty seven, that I need to go to the word of God -- Yeah. -- and I'm gonna get my answers there. You know? And -- Yeah.

0:20:30
I I have to be silent and allow him to speak to me because there's just too much noise about it. There's the external noise from the people around us, but there's also the internal noise. Yeah. Exactly. Data stand on our brain. Right. Yeah. I I I believe in that silence, you know, going to the lord and and sitting in silence in his presence. And you know, putting aside the noise around and in us to hear him. Yeah. So you have given us the seven signs of self sabotage. Yes.

0:21:06
Why do we do this to ourselves? Donna, why? Well, there's several reasons. Some of it starts in childhood. Right? There's, you know, if you experienced abuse or parents who you or caregivers or teachers that you never could really meet their expectation. Yeah. There is what was modeled before you. You just kinda duplicate what you see if you grew up in a chaotic household -- Mhmm. -- you tend to be chaotic too. Right? But I think the number one reason self sabotage happens is I'm gonna get psychological on you for a minute.

0:21:49
It's called the avoidant approach avoidance conflict. Mhmm. So the way God made our brain is, not just to automatically take care of our needs to breathe, to digest food, things we don't even think about. The brain has to other functions to seek pleasure and avoid pain. So the approach of avoidance conflict is this. We set a goal. I I use myself, my health goal, a healthier lifestyle. Right? And I'm approaching that. I said that, hey, and I take the steps for that. And then the self sabotage comes in. Because I'm an emotional eater. So when I'm going through something that's hurting me, my go to was food. So even though my goal is to be healthier, my brain is saying, but you're hurting right now, avoid the pain, eat the food. So that's the battle. I eat the food. The pain goes away. The pleasure comes back. But then my goal is sabotaged. Yeah. And that's the internal battle we have.

0:23:08
You're you're in a circle that he can't get out of, you know, like -- Mhmm. -- you're it's it's sort of a catch twenty two in that sense. You might Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I can see that much. And most of that is subconscious. That's the power of self sabotage.

0:23:28
We if we don't take the time to understand why we're doing what we do, how can we work on it? How can we do our part? But how can we let God in to do this part? Yeah. If we aren't even aware. Yeah.

0:23:47
And, you know, I look back I looked back, you know, after my my divorce, and it wasn't just my divorce that caused this, but the the circumstances around it and what was happening that might I didn't understand what was what was taking place inside of me at that time. Yeah. And I acted out. I I did. I acted out for the next fifteen plus years in a way that, you know, looking back, it was just a way to quiet well, I thought it was a way to quiet the noise in my in myself and but it just added more noise. To my life.

0:24:32
But, yeah, you know, I've I've come to understand that we need to sit and understand what it is that we are fighting against and what it is that, you know, we're trying to deal with and I've come to understand the value of going, you know, those of us that are Christians to going to see -- Yeah. -- Christian counts or therapists or whatever, you know -- Yes. -- we just need that because talking to friends and family is not the same. Right? They have something invested in that, whereas when you're speaking to someone else, Mhmm. It's about you, about what you are trying to deal with. So that's a whole other.

0:25:24
It is a whole other story because when you mentioned acting out, that was your brain. Yeah. Brain was like, avoid the pain. Find the plunger. Yeah. It doesn't put it doesn't make sense of but what I'm doing to avoid the pain now brings pleasure and now is causing more pain in the long run.

0:25:45
It doesn't have time for that debate. No. No. It doesn't. I yeah. It doesn't. It's I I never saw it. Yeah. Yeah. No. I never saw it. I know it's me. Yes. Yeah. I I just did not see it. It was only when I got knocked off my feet so hard. Yes. That, you know, the wind got knocked out of me.

0:26:08
And at that moment as I tried to catch my breath, I realized that, yeah, I I wasn't helping myself with these other things that I was doing, I really need it to -- Mhmm. -- to back off. But, yeah, it's just it's so and I find it very fascinating how our brain reacts to this trauma that we go through. Yes. Yeah. And I'm so glad you sought that help because, you know, we grew up that it was a stigma to go to therapy. We grew especially as Christians. Yes. See, honey, there's in the book. If you just do what the book says, yeah, you shouldn't be depressed. The joy of the Lord is your strength. Yeah. Okay. But have you read those songs? That's full of heartache? Yeah. Same book. Same book. Well, I mean, even Job was depressed. That's Oh. Oh my goodness. Come on, Joe. Yes.

0:27:12
And he was a man of god. Right? He was a man of god. Yeah. Yeah. Per job. Yeah. And David, a man after god's own heart. That's right. Like, how long are you gonna let me sit in this pain? How long do I have time for my enemies? And and in proverbs, I think it says, with many advisors. So, God gives us people Yes. He's absolutely gone to him. But he's giving us people with skin on that we can see and hear and listen.

0:27:47
And a therapist is that neutral person who -- Yeah. -- is not in your trauma with you, but can step back and help you under stand you better because you don't have to hide with them, you don't have to protect them, You don't have to excuse you can just be genuine. And that's what I love about being a Christian therapist because To me, the holy spirit is the real therapist. I get to be the co therapist. Enjoy I love that and help that hurting brother or sister in Christ. Yeah. Because that's not God's best for us. But I absolutely recommend pray, seek, do the research. Because not every therapist is for everyone. Let's fix up how the holy spirit is guiding you, but I'm so glad that you did that because you did roof you're here for your audience. Yeah.

0:28:41
It it took me a long time it took me a long time to get over that stigma of you know, seeing a therapist. And it was interesting. I waited a long time to do it. When I when I finally did sue my therapist, you know, there there was a bit of a chutcull there and and because I had waited for so long. Mhmm.

0:29:03
And it, you know, he said to me, I think, Ruth, what you need to do is just tell me your story -- Yeah. -- to get it off your chest, like, to just, like, to just unburden it. Because as you said, we we I wanna protect those around me because of my addiction because, you know, and, you know, if it's it's my addiction is such that it's people some people do not wanna hear about it. You know, my addiction, it was sex and porn. So how do you speak to, you know, about that? And sometimes I, you know, I just wanted to just to tell someone what I had done without looking in their face and seeing disgust or condemnation. Right? Yeah. So I know that's not what we're talking about. Therapy, but I highly recommend it coming you know, that it would just it just lifted something. I felt reborn in that way that I didn't carry it. Yeah. So even as you're saying that about that therapist, The truth is that therapist reflected how God sees you.

0:30:16
Mhmm. He doesn't look on you with sales and disdain. That's right. One says, there is therefore now no condemnation. Right? Because enrollment seven, Laura, why am I doing what I don't wanna do? And what I wanna do, I'm not doing in that -- Yeah. -- rinse and repeat cycle.

0:30:36
And romans eight, there's no condemnation. Yeah. And so whenever I've learned that chatter that I hear that's condemning, shaming, and blaming, Though that's from the enemy, that's not from the lord. Holy Spirit will convict us -- Yes. -- but he never, ever condemns us. Yeah. And that tool, Satan, uses to help us self sabotage. That tool keeps us from feeling worthy of not only doing what God calls us to do, but being worthy of being in relationship with him. Yeah. And Jesus already paid that price. So yeah. Yeah. We I get that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's that that is, I think, what we have to keep in mind. Yeah. And that is that he died for our sins. Yes, he did and washed away our sins. And, you know, the promise is that if we accept that gift -- Right. -- is eternity with him. And -- Mhmm. -- wow. You know, when I think of that and the sins that he washed away, for me and then multiply that. Yeah. You know, over. Just think about this too.

0:31:55
Women do struggle with pornography. The focus is helping men. I know. But how many women who are hearing you think, I'm not alone. Yeah. You know, Donna, if I had known that, Yes. It may have been an easier recovery for me because my years of recovery were very lonely. I did it on my own because I truthfully -- Oh, wow. -- did not know who who do you turn to. Right? Because of -- Yes. -- you know, many different facts where do you go? Who do you talk to? So now I am really invested in this to help young women And, you know, the statistics are unbelievable to teenage girls and boys too, but, you know, talking about women right now, teenage girls, and then young women in their twenties and thirties. And then, you know, as it doesn't go away, we are inundated by this. Right? All the time is. Yeah. We are inundated by by sex and, you know, and pornography and yeah, I want to tell women that you're not alone.

0:33:09
This is something that that, you know, don't do it alone. It is very difficult. And, you know, you do self sabotage as we were talking about today that -- Yeah. It you you just belittle yourself. That's what I would do, you know, about it. But What are some of the things? You know, we've talked about the different types of self sabotage and why we do it. So can you give us how we can deal with this? What are some tips that an advice that you can give us on that? Okay.

0:33:46
So first, we have to understand what is the threat, what is the pain we're trying to avoid that leads to defeating our goal that we set for ourselves. So number one, identify the pain. Like I said, for me, my my threats my struggle was I did not know how to get in contact with my needs. At the moment. I'm actually in therapy for myself as I'm doing this healing journey in a healthier lifestyle differently. And one of the things my therapist asked me when you want to go for that chocolate, what do you really need? And it's I need comfort. Yeah. And I don't know how to ask for comfort. So that pain that discomfort I'm feeling goes away immediately with that chocolate.

0:34:51
And so before I can even, like, how can I stop self sabotaging, oh my gosh, what am I needing? Turn to God, turn to a friend, I had a this past week as a therapist, I get to hear a lot of pain. And most of the time, I can handle it, but this particular day was really tough. And when I finish, I wanted to cry. And I wanted the most delicious burger and fries ever. Right? It was just, like, clawing in my brain and in my heart. But because I identified the problem, I had a plan. And my plan was to call my prayer partner. And stay on the phone with her all the way home because I knew I would not wanna be in a fast food line while she was on the phone. Right? And because she's my support system, if I didn't understand I need comfort right now, not a burger, and the comfort with my friend. Yeah. So that's how I was able to derail the self sabotage.

0:36:07
So that's definitely identify your problem, identify the threat that your brain is trying to protect you from herding from. Number two, renew your mind. Romans twelve to because those threats kinda come from lies. So you've got to replace those lies with the truth of God's word, and that's exactly what we've been talking about. Mhmm. Right? Going back to God's word. What is god's truth? When we talk about impostive syndrome, I I how am I a bible teacher? I don't have a seminary degree, but there's a first enrollments where God says everything he calls you to do, he will enable and equip you. To do. Be in a speaker. The Lord sent us to a mentor on speaking. That's the equipping. That's what he said in his word that he will do for us. So go back to God's word. And whether whether it's an impostor syndrome, whether it's perfectionism, whether it's procrastination, he has the truth for you. And his truth is who you are as his daughter, who you are as his son. And the fact that we don't ever have to battle self sabotage alone. He promises to be with us.

0:37:38
In Joshua, when Joshua had to take over from Israel's only leader Moses, and he had to fill those shoes in. God's words to him was be strong and courageous to do the thing. But then his next words were I will be with you. So Joshua, do the thing with courage, do the thing with strength, but never. Do it alone. I'm with you. So renew your mind. Romans twelve to transform your mind. Fill it with truth. So when the lions kick up, when the chatter kicks in, God's truth will resonate and sound louder. Than the lies that are out there or the lies that are in here. And finally, Like I said, have a plan. So because when the self sabotage kicked in, my plan, call my friend.

0:38:39
Once you can identify the threat, once you rest in God's word, Then what plan will that be for you? If you tend to procrastinate, do you need to set up a calendar? And and break that thing, that project down into chunks, have that plan. And then We tend to focus on what we do wrong and don't pay attention to what we do right. And so we've got to celebrate the wins.

0:39:13
Me being on this podcast with you, Ruth, is a win. It's a win for us too, Donna. Right? It's a win because the self sabotage, the impostive syndrome is Oh, you don't speak well enough. You don't do enough. Right? It's a win. That night when I didn't go to get a Wendy's burger was a win.

0:39:42
Will I still self sabotage? Absolutely. That's a given. But will I self sabotage as long? No. The more I can practice my plan, the more I can reach the goal God of healing for my life, of doing what he's called me to do. It's self sabotaged while it's there to try to protect me, doesn't keep winning. God bless. You know? Yeah. And ultimately, that's what we want is to win for God. Right? Yes. Because people are so sick. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yeah. Because one hundred percent, you know, I I hear you. And I I think that what we've spoken about today is going to help so many people because we all We all have one of the sevens. Definitely. That you spoke about. Right? And and some of us have multiples of that because you know, we're we're good at we're good at that. You know? Absolutely. Yeah. But you you're so right, you know, is identical.

0:40:55
First of all, I agree with you too because I when I identified, you know, my my weakness and what I my go to was at certain times. It was so much easier for me to as you said, put a plan and walk away from it -- Yeah. -- sometimes, you know, looking backwards. But but, you know, you you're I'm I was still moving forwards, you know. Right. But and I think that a day like that is a win, and we need to celebrate those days. Right? So I hope you celebrated that win with no win. It's I did. And we'll and we'll talk about it offline if Wendy's is really the best hammer. It's not. It's not. Trust me. It's not. Yeah.

0:41:44
Well, you know what, Donna, this has been a blast and on. Have learned actually so much from you. And I am so grateful that you joined me today and, you know, shared your story and your wisdom and your knowledge with my out of the darkness guests. And to my friends, please check out the show notes on how to connect with Adonis Scott and take a moment to like, subscribe, and share to grow our community. Thank you so much, Donna. Oh, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure and a privilege. Thank you for joining me to stay connected Follow me on Instagram and Facebook. If you like this podcast, can you help me find new listeners by leaving a rating and review. This small step takes only a moment, but really helps grow the listening audience. So let me thank you in advance. I hope you have a wonderful day and until next time. Let's continue on our journey as followers of Jesus Christ. I am Ruth Hovsepian.