Hope, Healing, and Releasing Shame! with SARAH WOHLGEMUTH

Sarah is both a coach and mentor, offering guidance to those on their journey of inner healing. Her passion is to inspire every brother and sister to boldly go inward, to do the work, heal, release shame, and CLAIM who they are CREATED to be! Sarah pushes all to ditch the excuses and claim their power. All of this to UNLEASH LEADERSHIP and IMPACT!

She is married to her high school first love and has two teenagers (ages 17 and 14). Her marriage story is also one of restoration, after a complete explosion from hidden addictions, betrayal, and sexual brokenness, to a fully healed and transformed marriage. Sarah and her husband also share their marriage story publicly. Hope is NEVER lost.

She has a deep-rooted faith in her Creator God and speaks boldly about His healing in her life.

Sarah has seen a huge transformation in her personal life from her journey of healing from rape/abuse and her journey of forgiveness within herself. She became passionate about sharing her story both publicly and online in 2019. She shares her signature message, "How to find Beauty in the Brokenness," and has seen many people's lives touched.

Key Takeaways from this episode:

Sarah encourages you to:

✔ Take the healing journey because it is worth it. 

✔ Release the shame and forgive yourself.

✔ To start the healing process, we need to FACE IT, FEEL IT and HEAL IT.

Connect with Sarah Wohlgemuth:

✔Website - https://www.brokenbeautifulyou.com/masterclass

✔Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/beautifullybrokenpieces

✔Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beautifullybrokenpieces/

✔YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@CoachSarahW

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✰ MUSIC ✰
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Transcript

 0:00:02

Hey, everybody. This is Ruth Hovsepian, and you are listening to the Out of the Darkness podcast. This podcast helps women of all ages and stages of life to navigate insecurities, fears, and addictions and to live purposefully, authentically, and amazingly in Christ Jesus. We tackle subjects such as faith, parenting, divorce, loneliness, addictions, and so much more. It's my prayer that these episodes inspire you and encourage you to be a fully devoted follower of Jesus Christ. So, if you are new here, let me invite you to subscribe on your favorite streaming app, so that you can join us each week. For more information and free resources, visit RuthHovsepian.com. This is Ruth Hovsepian.

0:01:00

Sarah Wohlgemuth is both a mentor and coach for survivors of abuse and those struggling to release shame. She shares her story of healing and redemption from being raped at eighteen to experiencing abuse in the relationship, to seeing miracles in her marriage years later. Her passion is to instill hope in those needing it. God has consistently shown up in her darkest hours without his endless pursuit of her heart, she would not have made it. She is wife and mom to two teenagers and a health and fitness coach for women. Welcome, Sarah. I'm thrilled to have you join me on out of the darkness today, and I cannot wait for my listeners to hear about your journey and your story. And I think that's a great segue for you to share your story and journey. And you can start and pick up at any point that you want about your journey from rape and abuse to hope and healing. Yes. Yes. Thank you so much for having me so on her. You know, anytime we can instill hope to someone that's looking for it. You know, I really believe God takes our pain and turns it into power. And so my passion is just to instill hope where there needs someone need hope or light where someone is in darkness. And so you know, because I've been in all the places. I've been in all the places. Can anyone ask for that? All the Oh, here guys. You know? Yeah. All the way to have this. Yeah. I don't have a storage. Right? So yeah. You know, I can always like where where should I start. But, you know, I I really don't think I can skip starting at the beginning. That is where everything is form. And I'll be brief in it.

0:02:56

But what happens is, as a child, you know, we're fill forming our filter system. Which is essentially, like, how we do the world. Right? And, you know, when I was young, I was the oldest of five. And I would say looking from the outside in, we had I was absolutely blessed. You know, I had my mom and dad were both present. They were there. You know, my dad was just a nine to five thing. My mom was asking my mom. But what happened was because I was the oldest of five, you know, I kinda got you know, she kept having more kids after me. And so I was the one to kinda just get brushed to the side because she was busy with the others.

0:03:40

And there's Gary Chapman is someone who wrote about the five love languages. I don't know if you've heard of that word, but absolutely powerful. I highly recommend everybody go and search that up, personality testing all the things, what you what your web based languages are. Well, my love language, top one is quality time. So what happened as a child is, I needed quality time in order to feel valued and loved and teen, and I didn't get that from my parents. They were busy at doing their things.

0:04:13

And I started to just take on this identity of I'm not seen, I'm not worth anything. Clearly if my mom loves me, she would want to spend time with me and she never does, so I must not be worth anything. And so I just started to take on this identity And what happens is our filter system is it's like a bouncer in our brain. As soon as we've decided who we are and who we are, the bouncer, we have a bouncer called the repeat who are activating system and it starts to just in whatever you have decided to be true. And it will push out everything that doesn't align with that. Right? Whether true or not. So my belief system was, I'm not worried yet. Of being seen. I'm not loved. And so now I have this bouncer pushing out all of the beautiful positive things and pulling in all of the things that are agreeing with that. And so I really just started to develop this need for work and to be seen and to be known.

0:05:06

And so that threw me into a lot of chaos into my teenage years that starts to really rebel and just kinda went wild. Really left home at seventeen. And at age eighteen, New Year's Eve was when I was you know, out at a party and the end of the night ended that I was late that night. And I remember Well, I don't remember. It was kinda like I just went into like, how could I have done that? Like, I I'm just a self sabotage. Like, I was so angry at myself, self blame.

0:05:48

See, a lot of times what happens when something traumatic happens is our brain is neurobiologically wired to have to make sense of it. And when something so senseless happens like that, because God did not create us as humans to cause pain to each other. That is a senseless act. Right? But our brain is scrambling immediately afterwards. Why why why? And it needs to come up with a story. And badly, we we turn it to ourselves so often. Right? And so I came up with the story of how I shouldn't have done this, and I put myself here, and I should have known better, and I cause this self blame. Right? And so now I I create this, you know, absolute, almost like, punishment towards myself.

0:06:32

I started to go and just almost, like, put myself in situations where it started to perpetuate this cycle of almost, like, abuse towards myself or this beliefs, this them that I had now formed about myself too. And, you know, so I put myself I got into a a relationship that a three year relationship, and it was very physical, physically abusive and emotional abusive. And I wanna share about this for a second because what I saw, you know, coming out on the other side because there is another side, I did get through all this. But but I need to I need people to hear that, you know, perhaps wonder why we stay in these cycles. And and I wanna say, as coming from the belief system of unseen, I'm, you know, unworthy. And then feeling used up and and this hate towards myself now I'm in the cycle of of abuse. Right? And and feeling like I love them and I got a state.

0:07:32

And what I saw was after the fact was he would be physically abusive. There would be a time when he was it was just wild and and horrible. But what happened, the very first time he was physically used it to me, what happened was I came you know, I think I'd went to work the next day in a haze that someone had that that it had even happened. Someone couldn't lay my hands. Like, I've not had that happen in my house. That it was horrible. That evening was horrible. You know, he had thrown me and had his hands up on my neck. He was punching and tearing the door a door down It was it was just shocking. But I came home after work that day to him sitting on a couch And I and I just silently passed by him. And I went in my room, there was a three piece letter on my floor. And the letter was just, like, him apologizing. How horrible he became a monster. He would never do that again. He would love me.

0:08:29

And what I felt was this rush of intense emotion and it felt so good. I I remember going out and sitting beside him and I just felt he had, like, tears in his eyes and he was just staring at me just so anxious. Sorry. And and some there was this big huge, like, a dopamine rush of emotion. I just felt the tense emotional connection, you know, and we embraced and I just loved that. And so what it was is I I started to I realized that through my life. I had not felt this intense emotional connection with my parents through my life. I hadn't felt it with myself. And now I was getting this rush of this emotional intense connection that became my high. It became my addiction. What happened is I wanted that feeling to last. And so I stayed in a cycle of abuse because I thought, well, if you, you know, I can see because if we can get through it, the other side of the the next day after, it's gonna be this intense and beautiful emotional connection is what I told myself. And so it was this chase for a feeling of connection. Connection. So I'm gonna stay in the distance. I'm gonna get that connection eventually. I'm gonna stay because I'm gonna get that connection eventually.

0:09:46

And this constantly the other factor was this positive need for validation that I was worth something. And I thought if I stayed in this relationship, Two things. One, if I stayed and people knew, I was I was always I didn't feel embarrassed to tell people how he was doing, and I thought it was how quickly am I? Why do I tell people this? Well, now I see the need was, I wanted someone to say, wow. Sarah, you're how amazing, like, what unconditional love you're staying in this you're loving someone that's treating me like that. Like, wow. That's amazing. Right? It was this twisted sense of what unconditional love is. I was so, you know, I just had no idea. Right? And the second reason was Well, maybe if someone sees my bruises, maybe if someone yeah. I I wouldn't hide it, but, you know, I had many on my arms and and just kinda grit marks where he had grabbed me. And I thought, man, why must like, what is wrong with me? I'm like, most people hide that they're being abused. I'm like, I'm fine showing it.

0:10:54

And I it was because I was consistent, all always looking for someone to say, oh my goodness, sir. You deserve more than that. Where is yeah. I'm gonna beat them out of town. Yeah. I was looking for a protector. Who's gonna protect me and, like, who's gonna stand up for me and, like, where is my worth in life? I was looking everywhere. Where is my worth? Where is my worth? How who it who will say I'm worthy, you know?

0:11:18

And so I want people to hear that because maybe there's people that just don't understand there's so much and all of it comes down to what is our belief system about ourselves. Like, who I it doesn't you don't have to go through horribly traumatic thing to have a belief system that's not serving you. This filter system that we develop just as simply as my parents didn't pay attention to me. That's it. It was just that formed my belief system that then created the cycle in my life that created into more and more, you know, dramatic things in my life. And so I want people to hear that that it doesn't yes, it can be as simple as your belief system, or it can be, you know, into traumatic things that have happened to you that shouldn't have or things that you've caused that that you're carrying shame and guilt about, you know? And So all of that, let's say, after all of those, that period of time in my life, it was around four years of of my life. You know, I just kinda carried on and, you know, left him eventually. You know what? God showed up in my life.

0:12:28

Right at the end when I left you know, my views are I remember I went on a mission strip. My parents called me up and they're like, you know what, Sarah? Would you mind telling me, like, for we wanna pay for you to come on this mission strip? Mexico with us. You know, it's fully paid. I know, like, it's maybe not your thing, you know. At that point, I was so hate it. I would have said I hated God. I don't I don't even like, what he just caused his pain in my life. I don't even want him in my life. And they called me up and I said, well, I don't really know, like, come on. Like, I'm not gonna go preaching on any street. Like, what kind of a mission strip? Do you know where I'm at? And they said just come with us. It's paid. It's the Mexico cop. And so I ended up going.

0:13:08

And, you know, there was a few people on that trip that really just started to I felt seen. I one no other person that was on the checklist she would just she would be with me. She would spend time with me. She would come and sit with me. She would talk to me. And she started to just say, like, Sarah, I'm just, like, I think you should come the bible school next year. There's there's this bible school in Regina, and I should be calling next year the bible school, but in my head, I'm like, F. No. That was my attitude in that time. I asked F. No. I'm not doing any of that. I was like, what is that? And But I would just like, yeah. Yeah. Hey. I'll think about it. I'll think about it in my head. I remember journaling, like, through that, like, bible school, but the heck is that? I'm not doing that.

0:13:53

Anyway, finally, I was getting so annoyed with him asking me. I finally said, you know what? Oh, here's here's yeah. I'm gonna pray about it. I told him I pray about I'm gonna pray about it. An answer. Alright. Alright. God. Yeah. Right? It's not okay. So you're gonna pray about it. So I pray. I said, here's the thing. God, like, we haven't talked in a long time. And I really don't wanna go to buy the school. You know that, but it's not you know what? If you want me to go to buy the school, here's the deal. You're gonna have to tell someone that doesn't know me you want me to go to bible school, and you're gonna have to figure out a way to tell me that. And so then after that, I said, okay. I'm worried about it. So we didn't bother it. Well, after after Mexico, we went back, it was still kinda on the tail end of in this relationship with this a user. And I think it was about a month after the Bible or after the the trip.

0:14:44

I got a phone call. Out of the blue, the phone rings, I answer it. And this lady on the other line said, hey, Sarah, you know, so lovely to meet you. You you don't know me. My name is Shannon. I actually live in Regina, but I felt I had a message for you. You're gonna think it's weird, but I have a message for you.

0:15:02

And I just felt like, god, like, put it on my heart. And she said, you know, I want you to know. He's in he's been in pursuit of you. And he it he's been in pursuit of you your whole life. And he I he wants me to come to bible school next year, and she's like, I know it's gonna sound really weird. And I was like, on the phone, I was like, no. I was like, oh my word. Be careful what you pray for. Right? Oh my word. Yeah. And so I was like, well, it's true to my word. You know, and so I remember calling up all of my friends and I'm like, well, guys, last party hard tonight because tomorrow I go to bible school and went out and parted and put some tape and pull out the bar and and then the next day I packed my bags and off, I went to buy the store. And So God really showed up in my life showing me that, like, there is a God. Like, that is undeniable to be, like, how in my brain do I pray and that how and I was like, whoa. Like, there is a God and he clearly is cares about pursuing, you know. And that and so anyways, all of that that led to bible school. And and I felt like I had killed a few layers of what I had walked through, but really not a lot. In the end, you know, let's say, I don't know, maybe about five years after this. I I, you know, I'm getting I'm getting worried.

0:16:34

My my husband, he was actually my childhood, like, sixty I married at sixteen, we were best friends, and we've dated for a few couple weeks, and then we broke up and it had been quite a few years. We hadn't been in contact. Anyway, we get back in contact, and we're now married. Now I went into the marriage carrying all this wounded lives. Right? All this wounded lives. I had not dealt with it. It was still there, and he was coming into the marriage with a lot of woundedness as well. So we were two broken people trying to make a marriage work. I we had our daughter before we were married. So she was making almost two when we got married. And so that we tried to make this marriage work, and it just year seven absolutely exploded.

0:17:22

I had, you know, carried this, like this is what I I say and and it's just a good visualization for people. You know, after I feel that I gotta give me this picture of, like, when we're wounded, when things happen to us, essentially, it's, like, as if we got shot, So if I got shot and there's a bullet lodged inside of my essentially, that's what wound and this is. It's like he's bullets that are washed inside of us. And what I did for how many years was take a little finger bandage, put it over my blue white wound, and then try to carry on in my life I'm fine. I'm fine. Like, I'm sure down over it and like, I'm good. I'm good. Like, I'm okay. Right? What's happening? The bullet is lodged inside I mean, literally, if you just think of it in a literal sense, that is completely poisoning you everything inside of you. You can function for a while. Right? But eventually, that poison is starting to just every part of your body organ, everything's gonna shut down. Right? And so, you know, you're seven of my marriage.

0:18:26

Every I had shut down, like, my I had become so cold and hard my husband had we had just been we had tried to connect, tried to connect, and just it wasn't working. We were hitting a wall, hitting a wall, hitting a wall, unknown to me. He had been hiding an addiction for the whole seven years of her marriage. He had said he had quit Like, he had been clean up alcohol. That had been something he had quit. But he unknown to me, he had carried a pornography addiction, and he was really relying through the whole seven years as his sonography addiction he had hidden. He was lying a lot about just, like, a little emotional affairs at work. And so we were hitting the wall. Now we, you know, now I know, you know, after our emergency, what it all came out, but And he's completely transformed, by the way. Good news. We're we're keeping right at the team. It's on Hill and with Dean.

0:19:23

But I had shut my heart down until the end of seven years. The last two months, I had an opportunity to present it itself. And I remember thinking I think I wanna go after this opportunity. Some another man texted me, and I remember thinking, this is gonna end our marriage. But the belief that I still had in my head was well, sir, you were gonna screw it up anyway. And why do you think anything good happen to your life. You're gonna screw it up anyway. You might as well screw it up now so you at least you're in control of how the marriage ends because it's gonna end anyway.

0:19:59

And and so I pursued for two months going outside of the marriage. And there came a day when my husband and I both said we need to talk. I had not like, we had business like roommates at this point. We're he was doing his thing. I was doing my thing, and we he could tell we would something's going on. And we shared with each other. And he said right before he shared with me that day, that morning, he he really would have never said he had a a deep relationship god, but somehow he felt like this almost audible voice say, Matt, you need to come clean to your wife. You need to tell her what have you been hiding for the past now eight years.

0:20:41

And at this point, he didn't know what I had just been doing for two months. And so we go for a drive and we're, you know, we're about to just like say, like, what's been going on? And here I am ready to share, like, this is what I've been doing, Matt. And I know our marriage is gonna be over now. I I we're done. Like, I have no more feeling left you. I hate you. It's actually what I remember feeling. I hated him.

0:21:03

And he says, stop before you say anything, so I he said I share with you something, and he said, you know, here's what I've been hiding for the past for all of the merge. I've been lying to you and and and I remember just being, like, oh my word. Like, I thought I was gonna be the one for, like, and you've been hiding this for a year. I just was so, like, Oh, Terry, our whole life has been a lot. Like, you know, now I'm glad I at least have something against you, like, screwy, you know, just so And but god got a hold of my husband that day.

0:21:37

Like, that day, god got a hold of him in such a way where where he, you know, he just felt like God said, like, not you need to stand up and be the man that you are not the man you've been. The man that you are is a man who is a good father and a good husband. And you need to update what I asked him to do. And so from this day forward, you stepped up into the place you're supposed to be And and so my what my husband said to me is, Sarah, I'm actually I'm not ever going to blame you for what you've done because I realized I left a marriage for eight years. Like, I literally left I lied to you. I haven't I haven't been the father or the husband, and so I will not be angry with you. I take responsibility as a man that I didn't, you know, cover you and love you and be there for you. And from this day forward, even though I know you and Katie and you don't wanna be with me, I'm gonna step up and do the math. The husband, the father that I need to meet. And if if we're done, we're done, but I still have to be super glad to have asked me to meet. And, I mean, that was words for me. I didn't I took her last. I only stopped listening. Yeah.

0:22:48

So I don't believe that's, like, this is well, he really did. He transformed. He he started going from meetings. I would get up in the morning and he he downstairs reading his bible at, like, five in the morning with books on how to be a godly, you know, husband and and father, and he was starting to get up at Sunday take a kiss to church. He just he was changing. He was meeting his mentor. He was going to therapy. He was going And I was just carrying on this card, like, I don't believe that he's true. This is not true. This is not happening. He's gonna, at some point, just go back to who he likes before. And he did it. He he really, really, really transformed. He he just started to love me at and show me that he was there, that it was solid. And I'm gonna fast forward this so much when I wanna for sake of time, just fast forward. It ended up that my heart of stone cracked open, eventually.

0:23:45

And I remember the day you know, from the start, the day my husband has said, I will fight for our marriage. Like, I'm gonna fight you, like, no one's ever stood up for you. I know that God told me that. Like, God said, Matt, you are not going to walk out, like, she wants my husband said, if you want us to be done, you're gonna have to be the one to leave because I will not walk out on you. There's been too many things in your life where you've been abandoned and hurt, and I will not be the one. Even though I know I've lied to you over eight years, I am going to show you the unchanged. And that started to show me through my husband, it showed me that there was an unconditional love that was not what I thought it was in my abusive relationship of the I had to put up with the views to get to the high. What I started to see was that there's an unconditional love that values it leverages you even in the face of when you're being the one that's, like, screwed you. I hate there's an unconditional love that goes after you. And I started to learn who God is to how my husband showed up for me in that period of time. It was incredible.

0:24:55

And from the start, I remember him saying. He said, Sarah, I believe that you need, like, I I really feel like you need someone to just hug you. And I know it's not I'm the last person you want me to hug. And he said, I'm just gonna offer me every day I hug. Everyday, I'm just gonna ask you, sir, if you need a hug, and you can say no, and I'll carry on with that day. And so everyday, he would wake up and say, hey, give me the hug. No. Hey. You need to have no. No. Hey. You need to have no. I told you, stop at gosh. She's like, okay. Like, you just leave it everyday. And the day that I broke, I said, you know, Matt, I really need time to process it.

0:25:35

Few months after the explosion, you know, he had been doing his thing. I had just been staying cold and hard and still in contact with the other guy, and I just was feeling this, like, I felt so shamed and guilty because here I was still being like this and my husband was shamed me. I was like, I don't who am I? Like, I am so ashamed of who I am. And I said, please leave the house with the kids. Like, take them somewhere so I can have a day for myself. I need a day. And he left.

0:26:04

And I remember I had shut music out of my life for quite a long time because music makes me feel and I didn't want to feel. I wanted to stay cold and hard. But that day, I was like, I need to I need to release stuff. Like, this my heart is cracking. I need to release my quest play on my iTunes. There was an album that I think my mom had given to me. I was like, some worship thing, which I was, like, heck, no. I'm always into that stuff.

0:26:30

And I pressed play and this the words that came the first two lines were it was Kim Walker Smith and album called a live. And the words were you breathe your life into my lung, and you bring to life these dry bones. You bring me to life. And I just craft. Like, I could feel it was, like, him saying, like, yeah, I'm gonna read my life back into you. I'm gonna bring you back to life in dead places. I just felt that it was, like, his voice in. I am here. Like, I don't care how you've been. I am here to bring you back life, I'm hit. And I cried and cried. I cried for twelve hours back. I cried and journaled and screamed and yelled and then had the song on replay. I was just, like, crying and screaming and yelling and again and again and again and I just released and released the shame and that who am I how did I get here? How am I like, this is not why I saw myself being as a child. I I had been three How am I here? How am I so broken? And I just helped him wrap me up. Just like, I I am here.

0:27:48

And the next song through through the data with that album playing, the the next song that came on was Because I can feel your healing oh, yeah. Running down. My god. And this, like, healing oil I like, envisioned it's, like, fifth, like, warm, like, beautiful lovey oils that's, like, you can start to see it down over me and it felt so like, lot like, you would love and it just started to push away the shame and started to just, like, so creamy. I just felt that it was, like, his love is like, I am here. You get to be free. Of the guilt, the shame, the anger, the all the things he carried.

0:28:37

And at the end of that day, the next morning, my husband conducted an morning. He left the kids at at at our in laws. And he came back the next morning, and he came in the door, and I was different. I was cracked open. And he came in and he said, hey, said, do you want a hug? And I said, yes. I wanna hug. And he wrapped his arms around me, and we just cried and cried and had on so forth, and he said me too. And we just laid on the couch for I don't know how long it seemed like and and listen other time, and we just cried, and our pain, and our the trail, and our all the things that happened. We just felt God there in that moment. And it was powerful.

0:29:34

You know, god, the unconventional love of a father, thought of god is so different than what we see in the world. The belief systems that we have that I'm too far gone. I'm I'm too I am so ashamed of the things that have happened. I mean, how could everyone god showed up to show me, like, I pursue. I pursue. And yes, the things happen is that there's evil in the world. Things happen. It's not explainable why why did I have to be right? Why did I have any God can't stop all of that, and he can walk alongside and and help him heal and deal with you. Right? He's there for you.

0:30:17

He showed after he pursued me when I was still going outside of America. He was like, I'm going after I'm going after you. You're worth something. And maybe there's someone messing the roof that is, like, who am I? What am I worth? It's, like, you are worth cold. You are a diamond. You have so much value and it has nothing to do with your belief. It has nothing to do with the road you want. It is everything to do with who the creator God made you to be from the time you came out of the womb. And you are you chemo that womb was a beautiful, unique, incredible person who has life and worth and purpose to death me and that's who he's made me to be. And that's the God that I believe it because he showed up in my life. So no one can take away. That there is a god who goes after his kid in life.

0:31:07

And, you know, we walked to a journey that that became that was the day where we decided we're to do it and, you know, really I he my husband already decided I said I'm in. And, you know, obviously, cut off all of things and started our own we we walked our own journeys. We were both going to therapy and group and had mentors and support, and we worked, and we worked, and it was working hard. It was hard. We had to walk that that road of, like, forgiveness and healing of it, but it's worth it. Like, it's so worth it. And being able to release the shame of this sabotage I had caused within myself that's given us towards myself.

0:31:47

You know, there's a line that says, face it, feel it, feel it. And this is a couple years after, you know, I were finally in such an amazing place in our marriage is when God brought up that I needed to deal with the fact that I had been great. I hadn't dealt with it yet. Was a couple of years after. And that line faced it, he was he was you know, God really used that. I brought that to my attention that it was time to face that.

0:32:10

And and it was such a incredibly powerful journey of facing what had happened on. Because, look, we can't feel it if we have if we don't face it, if we don't acknowledge it. Right? And we can't feel it unless we feel it. And there's just been so much feeling in the whole growth with god taking you on the journey of the steps of healing, you know, unwinding, figuring out my past, my my filter system. Facing, feeling, healing, and releasing. And then the, you know, the last thing that speaks out to you is is, you know, there's a a saying by Morgan Harper Nichols, and it says, be willing to tell others how you climb your mountain. Because that could become a page if someone else's survival guide one day. And you know, all of the journeys that we walk. There is traffic. There is power in our team. There is breakthrough coming from brokenness, god desire to turn our ashes into beauty and to be able to to now and to see now that I have he I I took the bullets out.

0:33:18

I was able to take them out. They will clear out the inspection and allow those that could be properly healed. And now I can be someone who could turn around and say, hey. I was there. I was where you are. I see you on that road and, hey. Like, there's hopes still. I promise you there's hope. I promise you God can bring life back into dead places.

0:33:39

Like, I am a testimony. Look at my scar. Look. Like, here they are. Look at my scar. You can be healed too. You can like, let me hold my hand out to you. Like, God is there. I am there. Let me be a sister to come alongside you. Let me show you that you can't get through it. You can't it's worth it.

0:33:57

Do the work. Go inward, allow the healing. Because when you come out on the other side, the incredible joy, the incredible intimacy. Incredible relationship that you get to have, if you do that journey. So That that's my you know, I just wanna encourage anyone listening. Give yourself a chance. But give yourself a chance. Do the work, reach out, ask for help.

0:34:26

Here's the lie of shame. Shame loves nothing more nothing more than lives. Proceed in darkness. Shane wants to keep you small. Shane wants to keep you stuck. Shane wants to keep you in darkness. Don't let Shane win. Be bigger than that. Exposed. It's okay. You know what? How many of us when we start to expose our wounds? Will be amazed by the amount of people that have the same war with us. It's true about that. You hundred percent I was you know, thinking about what you just you're just saying about the darkness and how that is the perfect environment for our shame to grow in. Right? It's hidden. It's dark. It's it just it's just a feeding ground for it. Right? We keep it hidden. And we see now, you know, in in our churches, this thing of hiding these hidden sins of ours. Right? Whether it's extramarital affairs or if it's pornography, things that are not visible. And I think that those are the areas where we need to really touch on and bring into light. So I'm so glad that you shared this journey because it's one that so many people maybe not with, you know, the whole story, but there are so many areas of it that, you know, we can relate to Can you tell me a little bit about your beauty and brokenness?

0:36:09

And what inspired you to get, you know, and start that. Are you talking about the course like the masters? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So And I actually I felt God felt me to switch it. So it's actually become beauty in the breakfast has become you unleashed. I've actually god gave me that it's you know, why did I start that? Because I desire that every single brother insists it becomes unleashed that everything, as I shared, that everything that holds us back, that tries to keep us down that we get to become unleashed, unrestrained, untapped, we get to be free. That's who you're creative to be a free whole healed being. And if I can come alongside any brother and sister, and inspired them to take the steps that God showed me to take a heal, to release, to step into leadership and abundance of your dreams, and your and all the connections if I can come alongside and why wouldn't I? That is my music and passion now, you know. And so that course is just to take you through the step, as I said, to rewind, figure out the filters is and figure out your mother. You well, how did that where where did that start for you to face it, heal it, heal it, to just do the journey because you're worth it. You worth it, you know? And so that's why I I had to start that.

0:37:41

I added What what is the most important lesson that you have learned through this journey, through this healing process? My most important lesson. Oh, that's a good one. You know, I I really think it's what true unconditional love from creator God is has been my lesson. What that looks like? There's so there's so much misconstrued ideas of what love is in the world and, you know, how love showed up in my life to god using my husband's app. It's just this beautiful representation of a pure unconditional love. And so the lesson for me is no matter what you've done, what has been done, what you've done in life. You are worthy. You are worthy.

0:38:35

You mentioned a couple of times about how you heard God's voice through, you know, other people, how your husband heard God's voice how do you recognize God's voice now where you are? And how can we open ourselves up to hearing God? That's such a good question. And you know, I feel like God is so intimate his voice will be intimately different for all of us. But for me, from the question was, for me, it was just, like, a a a thought drop, like, interrupted my thought, like, a a very strong thought or not like an audible voice, but that interruption of thoughts that was a very clear sentence that almost like where did that come from? An an an immediate knowing that it was, like oh my gosh. That makes sense. Or my like and so that -- Mhmm. -- he is so clearly his voice is the interruption on my own thoughts. Yeah.

0:39:44

I think we have to be be, I think as believers and as children of God, we need to be prepared to hear his voice so that when he does speak to us, if it's in the, you know, stillness of, you know, our mind or quietness or if we're in a busy season, we need to, I think, to be prepared. Otherwise, how do we know or how do we recognize them? I think it's a preparedness that we have to, you know, to to be ready to hear him. So at this point, what are you most excited about that is happening? I am most excited about speaking life and truth to as many people as I can and dealing with them and they get to feel and they get to be free. You know? That is that I'm just so excited with that. Seeing people set for you like, I got them. Amen. I think that's it. Right? Our testimony and sharing what we've been through What is one piece of advice that you want to share with my listeners today?

0:40:59

One piece of advice is do not rob yourself of doing the inner work. Do not see Yes. It's hard work, but you get to be free. Like, you get to be unleashed. And so do not get going on that inner end.

0:41:21

And and also, I've had so many people say, yeah, I just don't like reading. I don't like podcasts, like, don't bomb yourself at your full true identity who you are by not doing the inner work. There is inner work we all need to do. It doesn't matter if you just didn't have a parrot of paid attention. It doesn't do the inner work so that you get enough access to the fully created beautiful beautiful soul that you are would be my my advice. Yeah. And what's the biggest takeaway that you hope that we Those of us that've listened to you today learned from our conversation. One takeaway. That you are worthy of love and freedom and purpose and destiny and you are not who you have crafted yourself to be. You are who God has created you. I mean Yeah. Thank you so much.

0:42:27

Sarah, I wanna thank you for sharing your story today. Your story, your journey, your wisdom, your enthusiasm for what the Lord has done in your life and in your relationship with your husband and your family. Friends, check out the show notes on how you can connect with Sarah and where you can find her course. Thank you again so much for being here today. Thank you. Come up. It's been lovely. My pleasure. Thank you for joining me. To stay connected, follow me on Instagram and Facebook. If you like this podcast, can you help me find new listeners by leaving a rating and review? This small step takes only a moment. But really helps grow the listening audience. So let me thank you in advance. I hope you have a wonderful day and until next time. Let's continue on our journey as followers of Jesus Christ. I am Ruth Hovsepian.